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| Wind-bag |
Editor in Chief/Publisher
Attention to detail and deep pockets make for a wonderful Editor-In-Chief. Sometimes tries his hand at writing which led to this legendary turd, the single most defamed post in TWL history.
Websites visited every day: TeaWithLemon, You Porn
Favorite quote: "Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie." – William Shakespeare
TWL gig: Letters from the Editor. Read the Editor in Chief's Columns. Contact the editor.
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| Rabble rouser |
Senior Editor
Follow @CaliforniaKara
According to her second grade report card, "Kara likes to talk. A lot." Lucky for her, this Emmy Award winner parlayed that into a writing career, worked on the Oscars and spent 5 years as editor of an entertainment site. She once stepped into an elevator with Barbra Streisand during a tech rehearsal, and was immediately informed by Babs' handlers to "face forward...don't look at Ms. Streisand." Whatevs.
Websites visited every day: TED.com, Facebook, Twitter
Favorite quote: "I'm going to set my expectations high, and one day I'll exceed them." – Will, Young Americans
TWL gig: Glee recapper, and live blogging awards shows (recently passed the latter over to The Awards Witch). Read CaliforniaKara's columns. Contact CaliforniaKara.
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| Perfect white picket fence life: 2 kids & hunky fire-fighter husband |
Columnist
Follow @coreenie_k
Balancing marriage, motherhood and a corporate career, GingerbreadMama was a writer and Assistant Editor for Scoopme.com, chronicles the joys of parenting as a mommy blogger and plays nice with others at Tea With Lemon. She has mastered the art of operating on minimal sleep but is still working on running in heels.
Websites visited every day: Facebook, People, Tasty Planner
Favorite quote: “Remember to always be yourself, unless you suck.” – Joss Whedon
TWL gig: Weekly gossip column, Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap. Read GingerbreadMama's columns. Contact GingerbreadMama.
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| Salty Sea-Man |
Columnist
Singer/songwriter, movie-lover, pussy magnet, full-time asshole that kinda fell into this gig.
Websites visited everyday: Facebook, Hulu, Redtube
Favorite quote: "I know what you’re thinking. And the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my penis. It’s called The Octagon. But I’ve also nicknamed my testes. The left one is James Westfall, and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang." – Brian Fantana
TWL gig: Whatever comes to mind. Read Lex's columns. Contact Lex.
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| World's Only Heterosexual Male Dancing With the Stars Fanboy |
Senior Writer
Considers himself lucky to have racked up so many life experiences that are really critical for a good writer – like poverty, a latch key childhood, extensive travel in third world countries, and work in the video games industry.
Websites visited every day: Ain't It Cool News, My bank, Your Facebook page
Favorite quote: "I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying." – Woody Allen
TWL gig: Recaps The Walking Dead, True Blood and Dancing with the Stars. Read SDMattchew's columns.
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| Hysteric |
Columnist
Balancing motherhood, heavy drinking, and world domination, Marja was a writer for bitterbitch.org, chronicles the joys of parenting as a M.I.L.F. and complains about hypocrisy at Tea With Lemon. She has mastered the art of operating personal appliances that take D batteries, but is still working on a pole spin in heels.
Websites visited every day: Ruminations, Huffington Post, Recognizing Sarcasm
Favorite quote: "Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men." – Joseph Conrad
TWL gig: Covers music and life, and recaps America's Next Top Model. Read Marja's columns.
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| Civil rights activist |
Columnist
Former TWL publisher that stepped down to focus on what is really important-losing weight so people have one less thing to talk about when he walks down the aisle as one of Twin's bridesmaids, Internet porn, getting his bearings together after the "stressful" season 2 of The Walking Dead, and pointless drivel.
Websites visited every day: Newsarama, TowleRoad, Entertainment Weekly
Favorite quote: "He's fabulously gay and tart - you'd love his sharp tongue and honest truth." – CaliforniaKara
TWL gig: General banalities about life, the Game of Thrones recap column, and T's Trailer Park, a running commentary on new movie trailers. Read T's columns. Contact T.
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| Lean green machine, Do-Gooder |
Columnist
He's not afraid to get laughed at while riding a crazy-looking folding electric bike down University Avenue. He put a tramp stamp on the back of his Toyota Prius. He hobnobbed with fellow delegates at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen in 2009. And he believes you haven't arrived at a place until you've checked in on Facebook.
Websites visited every day: Drudge Report, Engadget, Facebook, Moped Army
Favorite quote: "The sense we have that it's important to repay debts corrupts the impulse to take care of each other: Debts are not sacred, human relationships are." – David Rolfe Graeber
TWL gig: Muses on environmental, nutrition, and global issues in GreenTech Geek. Read GreenTech Geek's columns.
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| Recappy Happy |
Writer
Joshowa tries to kill people with kindness, but can only maim at best. He can often be found proofreading everyone's work but his own. Steve Guttenberg once called him, "John," and the experience has left him confused about his true identity.
Websites visited every day: ScaryGoRound.com, Project: Rooftop, IMDB.com
Favorite quote: "Tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people." – Cher Horowitz
TWL gig: Recaps Supernatural. Read Joshowa's columns.
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| Married Well |
Columnist, Lettuce Eat
With a passion for cooking, Fly spends her free time searching the web for new and decadent recipes, planning the next meal for a dinner party, and finding people to be beta tasters. For the love of the food
Websites visited every day: Google +, Twitter, Tastespotting
Favorite quote: Great restaurants are, of course, nothing but mouth-brothels. There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one’s belt buckled.” – Frederic Raphae
TWL gig: Shares recipes and kitchen trials and triumphs in Lettuce Eat. Read Fly's columns.
Websites visited every day: Google +, Twitter, Tastespotting
Favorite quote: Great restaurants are, of course, nothing but mouth-brothels. There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one’s belt buckled.” – Frederic Raphae
TWL gig: Shares recipes and kitchen trials and triumphs in Lettuce Eat. Read Fly's columns.
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| Cute face, sharp tongue |
Writer
Follow @TheAwardsWitch
11 years ago, she returned a pair of pants to a boy-bander in the departure terminal of the Dublin airport in exchange for photographic evidence of the chance opportunity. It doesn’t really matter that she fought her friend for the pants as they fell off the hanger while the boy bander was running to make a flight or that you’ve probably never heard of the boy band. The important thing is that it was the single nicest thing that you will ever catch her doing for anyone even remotely famous. Also, he was hot. At least until she got close enough to tell he smelled like last night’s Guinness and stale smarmy-dance-move sweat.
Websites visited every day: Facebook, TWL, Huffington Post
Favorite quote: “I’m fucking Matt Damon.” – Sarah Silverman
TWL gig: Live blogs awards shows, like the Oscars, the Emmys, Golden Globes and more. Read The Awards Witch's columns.
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| Hack Magician, Smart Alec |
Contributor
Just a small town boy with big city dreams and a sarcastic talking cat for a sidekick. Will I be able to avenge to untimely murder of my uncle in time for the big school dance? Only time will tell. Stay tuned kids!
Websites visited everyday: 2012 Danger, Garage Sales Tracker, Modern Woman
Favorite Quote: “A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life it’s the only weapon we have.” – Roger Rabbit
TWL gig: Dispenses advice to the love-lorn and desperate in Michael Knows Best. Read Michael's columns.
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| Taps dances all up on Tyra's grill |
Contributor
Dancer is a self acclaimed TV addict with an ongoing relationship with her DVR. In her real life she works in Human Resources and she is a semi-professional Belly Dancer in the Bay Area. In in her spare time from TV and work, Dancer enjoys photography. She's principal photographer on Dawn Devine's upcoming book "The Cloth of Egypt" (releasing summer 2012).
Favorite quote: “Life is a journey, not a destination.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Websites visited every day: Facebook, Tom & Lorenzo: fabulous and opinionated, Pinterest
TWL gig: Covers America's Next Top Model.
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| Dragon wrangler |
Contributor
FutureCindy is an expert in surrealistic trash, the future, and knowing what’s good for you even if she’s never met you. Her greatest wish in life is to have a robot deliver her a carton of Fabergé Eggs. In the meantime, she will settle for quality television that covers either the (possible) future (Fringe, Battlestar Gallatica) or past (Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey). FutureCindy is not interested in inquiries regarding the present or the Kardashians.
Websites visited everyday: Gawker, Wesmirch, Techmeme, Fab.com cat sales
Favorite Quote: "What we have here is a failure to communicate." – Cool Hand Luke
TWL gig: Recaps everyone's favorite "Winter is coming" show, Game of Thrones. Read her GOT recaps.
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| Braggart |
Contributor
Barry Gnu (no relation) has been hobnobbing with the rich and famous his entire life. He has ridden the elevator with Muhammad Ali, spurned the sexual advances of Danielle Fishel, been accused of stalking Meredith Baxter-Birney in a Chinese restaurant, and even received a Bar Mitzvah card from former Oakland Raider Marcus Allen. As the former director of non-partisan political polling for one of the very very very big National News organizations (not that one), Barry has literally changed the course of human history. Twice. He currently lives in seclusion with his wife, Dr. Wife, and 3 year old son, J.J.
Websites visited everyday: The Huffington Post, FiveThirtyEight
Favorite quote: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” – John F. Kennedy
TWL gig: Covers politics in The Gnu View. Read Barry's columns.
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| Attention Seeker |
Contributor
Her mother once told her: never trust a man with a unibrow, tampons will devirginize you, you'll be thankful for your small ass when you're older and everyone else is pear-shaped, jessica perez will become barefoot and pregnant by 18, a black man will cheat on you, and if you learn how to cook you're half-way there to a mans heart. She was right about all of them...except her small ass.
Websites visited every day: Facebook, Food Network, Tuyenh Tran
Favorite quote: "Keep talking that mess, that's fine. Could you walk and talk at the same time? Baby drop dem keys. Hurry up before your taxi leaves. Standing in the front yard telling me how I'm such a fool, how I'll never find a man like you...you got me twisted." – Beyonce Knowles
TWL gig: Writes about food, fashion and trends. Read Twin's columns.
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Heather PV
Senior Writer
Follow @HeatherPVJ
Heather's feelings about entertainment are a strange mixture of adoration and repression. Which explains why she built her children a stage in their playroom ... closet. She's worked for TV Guide and The Hollywood Reporter, and once stood in line for the bathroom next to Whoopi Goldberg. Good times.
Websites visited every day: Old Hollywood, Awkward Family Photos, tywkiwdbi
Favorite quote: ''Be a first rate version of yourself not a second rate version of someone else." – Judy Garland
TWL gig: Recaps American Idol (on hold) and The X Factor. Read Heather PV's columns. | Contact Heather PV.
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| Glenn Beck's arch-nemesis |
Senior Writer
Follow @HeatherPVJ
Heather's feelings about entertainment are a strange mixture of adoration and repression. Which explains why she built her children a stage in their playroom ... closet. She's worked for TV Guide and The Hollywood Reporter, and once stood in line for the bathroom next to Whoopi Goldberg. Good times.
Websites visited every day: Old Hollywood, Awkward Family Photos, tywkiwdbi
Favorite quote: ''Be a first rate version of yourself not a second rate version of someone else." – Judy Garland
TWL gig: Recaps American Idol (on hold) and The X Factor. Read Heather PV's columns. | Contact Heather PV.
