10.24.2012

T's Trailer Park: Budgets Both Big & Small Edition




This edition of Trailer Park brings you Iron Man 3 which features Tony Stark getting hitting bottomed, A Wayans brother trying to cash in on the "found footage" gravy train, a 3D underwater spectacular, and we'll be talking production budgets along the way.. with the exception of the just released teaser trailer for the Evil Dead remake, as no budget info was available.


Let's get on with this...



Boo!
The Evil Dead (2013)








A Haunted House



Made for only $5 million dollars (Paranormal Activity 1 cost only 15,000), Paranormal Activity 4 grossed $30 million dollars in its opening weekend. Shocking no one, Paramount Studios announced a Paranormal Activity 5 for next Halloween, this time aimed at Latino fans.  Marlon Wayans wants his piece of the Paranormal pie by crapping out this spoof, A Haunted House. While I was unable to muster even the slightest smile while watching this trailer, that's OK because this is not for me. This movie is for people that thought Vampires Suck! was funny...

Scary Movie 5 has their own Paranormal parody!
...or that will drop cold hard cash on the upcoming Scary Movie 5.



Iron Man 3


Truth be told, despite my love of Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow as Tony Stark and Pepper Potts respectively, I thought Iron Man 2 was uneven and even a little bit boring (“gasp!”).  Maybe I was just bitter over the Terrence Howard/Don Cheadle swap out.  Anyway, Iron Man 3 looks to be following in the same path as Rise of the Dark Knight by having our hero hit rock bottom and get beat down before building him back up.  $200 million bones (CROM!)  Iron Man 3 had a big fat budget of $200 million (which would have been enough $$$ for 40 Paranormal Activity 4).


Iron Man 3 Trailer TEASER..a trailer for a trailer.




and now the FULL Length Trailer





Empires of the Deep 3D

Just in time for Halloween! Slutty Empires of the Deep Mermaids!
Made on a vulgar budget of $130 million, with no big actors to pay as its biggest star is Olga Kureylanko, One would think this would be a senses shattering and gorgeous blockbuster!



When I was but a wee lad, I also thought this was the sort of underwater adventures that would occur (in miniature form) in my Sea Monkey aquarium. Imagine my shock when Sea Monkeys turned out to be boring ass brine shrimp. I got that same feeling after watching this trailer:




That's all for now. If you still have time on your hands, might I suggest Buzzfeed's 32 Of Your Childhood Crushes Then And Now

It really makes me miss our previously lively comments section: