8.06.2012

True Blood Recap: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Eric tries to escape the Authority.  Good luck!
Photo credit: true-blood.net

Pigs, a Dragon, and Two Flies on the Wall
by SDMattchew

I wish I had True Blood GPS, so I could tell you where the remainder of this season is headed.  Sadly, I had only tonight's episode to help me wager any guesses.  "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" had even more plot twists and developments than last week, one as ridiculous as pigs ready to eat two main characters.

The episode did have a few fun moments, however.  And it wrapped up one particularly annoying plot line, which I happily stand up and applaud it for.

Find out what wrapped up and what went down after the jump!



Sookie

Hmmm... what could Sookie possibly do about Warlow (that heavy breathing vampire spirit she conjured up last week)?  How about some more conjuring?  That should be a great way to avoid more trouble!

Sookie enlisted the help of Lafayette (and Gram, from beyond the grave) to discover that former Sheriff Bud Dearborn was the deputy who'd found her parents' bodies way back when.  Maybe he could tell her something about the vampire who'd killed them?

Sookie went to see Dearborn at his pig farm and got a lot more than she'd expected out of her visit when a frying-pan wielding plus-sized woman (Sweetie) came out of nowhere and clocked her over the head.  (Well, we knew Sam had smelled a big girl last week in the trailer trash lair of the mask wearing hate group.  Leave it to Sookie to randomly stumble onto her!)

How did things wind up for Sookie?  Hog tied in the barn with Hoyt, awaiting execution by pig.

Warlow

No Warlow appearance this episode.  Why?  Who could say?  With only three episodes left, my guess is that Warlow will turn out to be Season 6 material, not 5.

"Suck me, vampire Barbie!"  - Tara
Photo credit: santress.tumblr.com
Tara and Pam

Despite Pam's plan to keep Fangtasia quiet while Tru-Blood supplies dwindled, things got sticky around the bar anyway when she discovered a vampire sitting in Eric's throne.  After he announced himself as Eric's replacement, she tried to kick him out, only to have him hand her ass to her.

Whoa.  Is a new sheriff in town?

Alcide

If you were wondering whatever happened to the liquid metal terminator from T-2, he's now playing Alcide's father on this show.  This week, Alcide went to have beers with him and break the sad news that he didn't make packmaster.

"You're a lone wolf now, Alcide," Dad told him.

R.I.P. Patrick.  And the evil smoke monster.
Photo credit: tvequals.com
Terry Bellefleur

This week Terry Bellefleur put several bullets into Patrick and effectively put the smoke monster plot line out of its misery once and for all.

Way to go, Terry!

Jason and Andy

The scenes with Jason and Andy had some of the best lines in the episode.  But you had to listen carefully.  For example, when Jason remarked about the hate group:  "If they're so brave, why the Obama masks?"  A dopey-sounding deputy replied:  "Oh, they's probably just patriotic."

Jason and Andy performed some police work and tracked the hate group (now a.k.a. "the Obamas") to Sheriff Dearborn's pig farm.

Before they headed out, two flies on the wall (or counter) overheard everything...

Sam and Luna

Sam and Luna professed their love for one-another and then decided to become two flies on the wall (literally) to try to overhear Andy's plan for the Obamas.  Once they got the scoop, they decided they would do some undercover work of their own and get the jump on the masked killers.

Just as the Obamas were ready to feed Sookie and Hoyt to the pigs, Sam and Luna leapt out of their pig undercover disguises to save the day.  Sam took on the Obamas while Luna went after - and then beat the ever-loving sh!t out of - the plus-sized Sweetie (a.k.a. "The Dragon").

It's Eric vs. Bill all over again.
Photo credit: santress.tumblr.com
Eric, Bill, and Salome

With Bill saddling up with the Authority and giving them great idea after great idea, like torching Tru-Blood factories to force mainstreamers to feed on humans again, Eric thought it was time to try to talk some sense into him and make him part of the escape plan.

Unfortunately Bill enjoyed sex with Salome this week a little too much.  What he also enjoyed: stabbing Eric in the back by showing up for the big escape with guards ready to take Eric into custody.

Russell and Steve Newlin

Russell and Steve took a romantic stroll together, chatting about pets and how nice it was to have them.  They eventually ended up at a wolf pack meeting where JD (the packmaster) had everyone bow when Russell entered.  Russell paid back this honor by grabbing Emma, who was in cute little wolf puppy form, and handing her to Steve Newlin.

Enjoy your new pet, Steve.

OVERALL:  A few fun moments.  Other than that, most of it felt like fluffy finale set up.  But what will that be?  A vampire/human war?  Something with werewolves?  Something with Warlow?

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