Before we begin I would like to take a moment to write about the horrible shooting that occurred at a midnight showing of the Dark Knight Rises in Colorado. It cast a huge shadow over the entire cinema this morning, and my heart hurts for all those that lost friends and family or were irreparably traumatized by the senseless violence.
The Dark Knight Rises Instant Message Review
by T and Guest Reviewer Justin Time
T: Well that was good. And ambitious. And loud.
Justin: Very good.
T: It was bombastic!
: Idiot. I don't think that guy (director Christopher Nolan) can make a bad movie.
T: Nope. I don't think he can make a movie that is not muscular either.
T: All of his films have a distinct, muscular, aggressive feel to them. Lots of testosterone on the screen. Even the female characters have balls. The only bit of estrogen in this pic comes from Michael Caine as Alfred. Who needed to dial it back a bit on all that blubbering.
Justin: He was like Batman's wife.
T: Haha. What a nag! Enough with the henpecking! And enough with the fluff. What didn't you like about the movie?
Justin: Alfred. That's about it. The scene at beginning of movie made no sense either. Also the young cop (Joseph Gordon-Levitt ) had a stupid scene and he had too much story.
T: I thought him extremely likable. But I know what scene of which you speak. I didn't like Bane. I thought he was a weak link. And at 2 hours 45 minutes I'm surprised that a few things felt a bit rushed.
Justin: Bane was a bad ass. You just didn't like him because he's ugly. What did you feel was rushed?
T: Well, why hire Tom Hardy if you're just going to cover his famous fat lips? Anyway, I felt like we'd just connected with the villain after they revealed a bit of his backstory and then rush rush rush wrap up! I didn't connect to Bane at all.
Justin: We don't need to connect with him. We just need to be scared of him.
T: I was scared he'd get even more screen time so I guess that mission was accomplished. Truth be told, I would have rated this BEST of the trilogy if Bane hadn't been so disconnected. I also was over crybaby Alfred. What did you like?
Justin: Batman. Batman. Batman. Best hero ever. Christian Bale is the best Batman and best hero ever.
T: Whoa...I thought you were Robert Downey Jr./Iron Man's biggest fan?
Justin: I am. But Bale's Batman is on a different level than anything else. Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) is awesome and of course so is Morgan Freeman* (Lucius Fox).
T: I completely agree. Since this is the last of the trilogy I feel very sorry for whoever follows Bale. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. His Dark Knight is always rising...in my pants. I also loved Catwoman. I feel like I should write Anne Hathaway a letter of apology because I bitched about it when the casting news initially broke. She owned that role. She was tough, ridiculously damaged, and had questionable morals just like Catwoman in the comic books. I wanted to hug her.
Justin: She was awesome. Who was that other chick?
T: AHHAHAHA! We'll go off the record for that one.
Justin: I give it an A. Fights were great. I can't believe it was longer than The Dark Knight because it seemed shorter.
T: The Dark Knight had that Two Face scene. It was a bit of a burden after the greatness of Joker. I'll give this movie, and this hurts because it is very ambitious, an A-. That "-" is for Bane.
Justin: Bane was Badass.
(You'll be spared, dear readers, the additional Bane argument.)
*Funny how Justin refers to Morgan Freeman as Morgan Freeman. No matter what role he plays it is always Morgan Freeman.