Confused Couch Critic
by The Awards Witch
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| Based on Rotten Tomato reviews, the EIC picks Moneyball. Photo: beckett.com |
I figured on about six or seven. Nine? Really? All the usual suspects that actually have a chance of winning are included, such as The Descendents, The Artist, The Help, Hugo, and Moneyball. I figured six and seven being The Tree of Life and War Horse. Somehow, voters went with Midnight in Paris and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
I'm not sure what they thought they were watching. Maybe they assumed the latter was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (which, in 3D, would be both extremely loud and incredibly close) and voted their consciences.
What a strange scenario the Academy has created for themselves. Also, the packages for these movies are going to run into the Dead Sea Scroll montage...
See the first prediction of the Oscars and the run down for the other major categories after the jump!
Actress in a Leading Role
Actress in a Leading Role had two outside chances make it in, with Rooney Mara scoring a nod for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs, which means that Tilda Swinton was completely shut out for We Need to Talk About Kevin and Charlize Theron was just shut out for playing herself. Interesting stuff. It doesn't really matter, Meryl Streep can't lose here, but they could have put her in some better company.
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| Rooney Mara Photo: wmagazine.com |
And then there is the enigma of the Actor in a Leading Role nominations. George Clooney, Jean DeJardin and Brad Pitt were all nominated as expected. Leonardo DiCaprio was completely shut out of the category for J. Edgar, Michael Fassbender was not recognized for Shame, and some dude I've never heard of in a movie I've never heard of was included. But the biggest surprise here is that the Academy has finally, after one of the BEST careers in Hollywood, chosen to recognize Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy. I'm calling it for Gary now. Because even if Georgie wins, and he most likely will, everyone will believe that Gary Oldman was robbed.
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| Is Gary Oldman attractive enough to win an Oscar? Photo: http://collider.com |
No real surprise in Actress in a Supporting Role as most of Hollywood clearly expected Melissa McCarthy to be nominated for taking a shit in a sink on camera. All of the actresses who everyone else expects to lose to Octavia Spencer made the cut.
Actor in a Supporting Role
The Academy, for all of their genius in finally recognizing Gary Oldman, failed to realize that Alan Rickman gave the best performance of the year in the above mentioned Harry Potter movie and therefore have pissed this witch off to no end, nominated Jonah Hill instead. I guess for not smoking pot and not spending hours joking about gas and balls. Way to go, Academy. The usual suspects on the 2012 awards circuit made the cut here.
Best Picture
On a bright note, we may see Martin Scorcese repeat his Golden Globe sledgehammer for Hugo, where he will be up against Terence Malick for The Tree of Life, Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris, Alexander Payne for The Descendents, and Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist. I for one will be amused that it took him an entire career of hard assed drama to score a win for The Departed, and one children's movie to repeat. Awesome.
Predictions will be up before the Oscars air in time for you to fill out your Oscar pool and win me some money! The winners will most likely be more confusing than the nominees. Check back!
5 comments/sarcastic remarks:
This years ceremony is going to be boring as ever. Leaving the impeccably tailored Michael Fassbender off the nominees list was just dumb.
I wish Drive and Gosling had been nominated.
I think Melissa McCarthy was nominated less for that shitting in the sink scene and more for that scene when she knocks Kirsten Wiig's character around and tells her to stop moping and get her shit together.
Speaking of shitting, that is probably what George Clooney did when the announcements were made and possible spoiler Gary Oldman reared his head!
"and Charlize Theron was just shut out for playing herself"
GASP! Are you saying my beloved Charlize Theron is an emotionally stunted Jezebel that is hateful, narcissistic, and capable of committing heinous acts of unbelievable cruelty with no regard for anyone or anything other than herself? Like almost every one else I know? Great.
I could be wrong (and I'm too lazy to Google), but I think there were TEN best picture nominees last year and I recall gripping about the exact same thing! So many nominations nearly insures that votes will be split and a winner could reign supreme with a paltry 10% of the total voting pool. With 9 nominees, it's easy to let a Michelle Bachmann slip through unintentionally.
I've yet to see enough of the best picture noms to weigh in yet, but I really wish someone could explain to me this Melissa McCarthy love-fest. Granted, I've never seen Mike& Molly (for which she won an Emmy), but her role in Bridesmaids was window-dressing at best. It's like Steve Carrell getting an Oscar for Anchorman.
And while I'm in full-on rant mode, I've yet to figure out the appeal of Bridesmaids in the first place. I am seemingly the only woman on earth who didn't enjoy that movie. Yeah, there was a LOL moment or two, but overall Kristen Wig's awkward letting-a-joke-linger-too-long schtick wears thin almost immediately, despite numerous attempts back to the same comedy well. Bridesmaids was at best a 30 minute SNL sketch that is so desperate for a laugh they delve into male-dominated potty humor on the off chance that seeing a woman take a shit in a sink would make you forget about the under-developed unlikeable characters.
How this film ever made it on Oscar's radar is a mystery to me! The nomination committee must be stacked with woman who watched the opening scene with Jon Hamm, then turned off the volume for the rest of the film so they could masterbate in peace.
Marja, i totally agree on the disguised sentimental crapfest that was Bridesmaids. It was just NOT funny. Melissa McCarthy was the only funny part of the movie, and even that was one-dimensional and not so Oscar-nomination deserving. That being said, T. LOVED it, so he's probably still skipping happily down the lane. I don't get at least half of the nominations for this year, so I'm kind of struggling with caring in some of the categories... sad.
This is the least exciting nomination field in ages. And I HATE that there are so many nominees in each category. Almost as much as I HATE that Best Animated Film is separate from Best Picture.
The Academy suckles at the teat of the studios and the Hollywood rags: the more pictures are nominated, the more For Your Consideration ads get bought/aired/published, putting more money in the media's coiffeurs, which gives more publicity to AMPAS and the Oscars, which (theoretically) would result in more viewers for the telecast.
But since we know T and no one else are going to actually watch this year (save me, Awards Witch and Marja), the above rant may just well be a moot point.
(Note: I completely disavow anything I said previously, above, or in the future in the event that the Oscars garners more than 12 millions eyeballs.)
I divide my life into two sections, before I watched Bridesmaids and after it. The uncomfortable scene where they tried to upstage each other at the engagement party was just so much fun.
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