10.31.2011

Gingerbreadmama's Bite: Kim Kardashian loses 235 lbs...of husband! Did someone say divorce?

photo credit: US Magazine


TMZ is reporting that the highly promoted to boost reality show ratings and bank them some big bucks fairytale romance of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries is over, after only 72 days of marriage (the wedding reportedly cost $10 million).

Kim is allegedly filing for divorce this morning, citing irreconcilable differences. According to sources, Kris is not drinking the Kardashian Kool-Aid, and it's causing major problems.”

Bet mom Kris is regretting those engagement ponies now.


Meme Monday Mirth


New!


High Expectations Asian Father


Irrational Black Woman

End of NEW!


Sheltering Suburban Mom
 I sent T the Sheltering Suburban Mom meme, shown above, and he lost his damn mind cackling, and a lot of his day going through the meme's over at quickmeme. I've put a few samples here and you can get more of each particular meme by clicking on their name.

You're welcome.
Insanity Puppy

Successful Black Man

Push button for more like Forever Alone, Annoying Facebook girl, and Socially Awkward Penguin

Slutty Mortal Kombat Ninja Costume Countdown

Mileena?
 #1 - She Nailed It
Yes. Mileena.

See the also humpable runner-ups, after the jump!

10.29.2011

Supernatural Recap: Slash Fiction

Sammie and Clyde 
by Joshowa

THEN
I have officially quit watching these segments as they pretty much telegraph everything that is going to happen in the upcoming episode. It's like instant, pre-show spoilers.

NOW When the show opens, we find Sam and Dean at a bank. While Dean sweet talks the tell into giving him change for $100, Sam shuts (and locks) the door the bank. Suddenly the two whip automatic weapons and order everyone into the vault. After striking a pose in front of the security cameras, Dean and Sam open fire and mow all the innocents down in a spray of extreme violence!

TITLE SCREEN!

Did the Winchesters finally crack under the pressure and decide to take out their frustrations on all of humanity? Find out after the jump!

10.28.2011

Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap: The Joss Whedon and Dumbass Edition

Gingerbreadmama says, "That's a wrap!" This week's column's also known as "The non-truncated bring on the site hits and make T happy edition AND my 11th wedding anniversary – smooches to my better half – you rock!"


Much ado indeed

I heart Joss Whedon. I do, I do, I do. While he’s busy with readying the Avengers, he also somehow managed to make a movie based on Much Ado About Nothing starring awesome Whedonverse alums. “Shot in glorious black and white by Jay Hunter, the film stars Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof as Beatrice and Benedick, the world’s least likely lovers headed for their inevitable tumble into love. As Joss Whedon puts it: “The text is, to me, a deconstruction of the idea of love, which is ironic, since the entire production is a love letter – to the text, to the cast, even to the house it’s shot in”. The supporting cast includes Nathan Fillion as Dogberry, Clark Gregg as Leonato, Fran Kranz as Claudio and Reed Diamond as Don Pedro.”

Atheist
Stay with us for the real juicy stuff and see who Gingerbreadmama gives the dumbass award to this week.... after the jump!

Hipster Parents are SO Mainstream...

TWL Week of Terror! The Tin Man


I was in need of a certain body part....

No But We Know Someone Who Did!

10.27.2011

Lettuce Eat: The Big Easy SRG



So I know today is supposed to be a Retro Eat, but I just had to share the awesomeness that is the Big Easy SRG. After a long and grueling wait, we finally received the SRG in the mail only to find that the propane hose was faulty. Two weeks passed until the new hose arrived, but finally we were able to test out the new toy.


Ultimately, the goal is to make a 23 lb turkey in it, but I wanted to try something a little smaller for a test run. I started with a 4 lb chicken, cheated and used Grill Mates Cowboy Rub (which is VERY tasty) to make it simple. About an hour later, with the SRL on high, we had this heartthrob:


More after the jump!

The Hunger Games Character Collection Posters!

May the odds be ever in your favor...



6 more....after the jump!

America's Next Top Model All-Stars Recap: Kathy Griffin


(Marja here. We've got a guest columnist this week who wanted to contribute his "unique" Top Model viewpoint. Please give a warm welcome to my teenage son "MJ", who surprisingly had quite a bit to say about last night's ep!)


Hi everyone! So my mom told me we were going to go carve pumpkins, but the next thing I knew we were watching some show about models with Tyra Banks while Uncle T sat on the couch guzzling wine.

The show started off with the girls trying to make perfume or something. It looks like they have no idea what they're doing. I'm really glad we don't have smell-o-vision yet (like on that actually funny and really well written show we should be watching, Futurama). My mom keeps complaining that her girl Kayla is boring and her signature trademark "Free" makes no sense. They also don't like some girl they keep calling "Christian". The perfume part is boring, but Uncle T cackles loudly when Alexandria takes her sweet ass time to pick a scent.

See which TWO blog regulars are owned after the jump....


Best of TWL: Slap Dash Halloween Costume Photo Parade

We're debuting a new feature here at Tea With Lemon, called "Best of TWL." Each week we'll be highlight the funniest, most memorable and most controversial posts over the past three years.

First up, and in the spirit of Halloween, we bring you "Slap Dash Halloween Costume Photo Parade" post from November 2010:

T gets all Walking Dead on Lex's raggedy ass corpse.

How to Grow Your Own Zombie

Himbo Nation Presents: Hotplay


The Answer:

No Nonsense Laura: Well something changed, I never saw that guy on stage. We always saw this one! (see photo above)


the question is waiting for you...after the jump!

Weird News: Shapeshifting Donkey

10.26.2011

George Takei's Halloween Pet Parade

Over on George Takei's Facebook page he posted this series of pictures in the spirit of Halloween.

Catman: The Dark Prince Rises. #Ameowsing

Found This at the Local Wal-Mart




There was another piece of crumpled paper next to the shopping list. See that, after the jump!

Two Minutes of Evil Cackle

10.25.2011

Dancing With the Stars Scorecard: Week 6 Elimination



Hope? Nope.


By SDMattchew

It was a surprise elimination tonight. Yet it was no surprise at all.

At this stage in the Dancing with the Stars competition, I would love to say you could predict who’s leaving by who takes the worst beating on the leader board. But how do you factor Maks jumping in and sucking up all the negativity last night like a bad-mouthing black hole? You can’t. It really becomes anyone’s ball game. In fact, I had completely forgotten that other contestants (meaning one other star) had scored even lower than Hope.

Did Maks running interference help that once bulletproof contender to slip past another elimination round?


X Factor – Longest. Episode. Ever.


by Heather PV

Simon! I have a life, you know! I can’t spent all damn night watching your sweaty contestants howl into a microphone! Jeez!

OK. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s begin. Everyone has been styled within an inch of their lives. The little rapper has been renamed “Astro.” Shit has changed, y’all.

The host dude has finally been given something to do other than ride in tractor trailers and cuddle the contestants after they get cut. He walks and talks with aplomb, though he’s no Seacrest. He’s far too virile and masculine to ever be compared to that overworked Idol dwarf.

Each judge has to get rid of one contestant from their team, except Simon, who must ditch two. Tonight’s performances are make-or-break.

Robot Chicken Erects Green Lanterns Might!


Robot Swim is going to have an entire episode devoted to lampooning DC Comic characters. They've released a sample clip featuring Green Lantern and his power cock-ring.

Yup. What did you expect?

The video is available for view after the jump! It is NOT suitable for small children so even though they will want to watch, tell them it is for big kids. Any kid 8 and up is probably hearing a LOT worse at school, but this is not the appropriate time nor venue for social commentary.

Gingerbreadmama's Bite: Living La Vida Lohan: birthday suits & brusies

In a quest to maintain her career, Lindsay Lohan made two strategic moves: She agreed to pose nude for Playboy and fired her business manager.

Sources claim Lindsay fired her business manager, Lou Taylor, because he, apparently, "didn't have the time to manage her". Although, I'm sure he was doing his best with what he had to work with, coordinating around her numerous court appearances, house arrest, probation violations and community service hours.

Lohan is reportedly getting just under $1 million to pose in her birthday suit; easy money. Although neither Playboy nor Lindsay's rep have confirmed the deal, TMZ reports the spread is currently shooting at a Beverly Hills mansion.

She is is due back in court on Nov. 2 for a probation-violation hearing, which could result in (more) jail time.
This is the look Lindsay is currently rocking. Sexy. Perhaps the Playboy theme is naked corpse bride.
In related unrelated news, Daddy Lohan was arrested (again) for domestic violence. Michael Lohan allegedly beat up his ex-girlfriend Kate Major, tore her condo apart and banged his own head against a door because she wouldn't go down on him, after a "daylong argument" that initially started when he came over to discuss an upcoming court date. This latest arrest comes a day before he was supposed to appear in court on a previous domestic violence case, by the way.

Way to stay classy, Lohans.

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I just have one question for you...


Dancing with the Stars Scorecard: Week 6 Recap






The Maks Show

By SDMattchew

Mark this Dancing with the Stars column as a first, people. I’m not devoting this week’s recap to the stars. Instead, I give the spotlight to Maks Chmerkovskiy (Hope Solo’s partner). Why? Because he decided to let millions of fans know tonight that we should be giving him this kind of credit.

To quote Maks: "With all due respect, this is my show."

So here you go, Maks. You ask – you get!

THE MAKS SHOW

Next up, we’ll take a look at how Maks did.
(Plus, a few other people who helped to fill his two-hour Broadway week show.)

10.24.2011

Gingerbreadmama says Stop The Press in Prince Harry & Stavvy's Former Assistant Royal Shenanigans Shocker!


Gingerbreadmama just sent me this link from People.com

Jessica denies any smooching or push-push went on and her boyfriend of three years, Brandon Thomason, says he believes her. Keep moving, nothing more to see here...

OUTRAGEOUS Local Gossip - Prince Harry Romances Familiar Cocktail Waitress!


Jessica Donaldson bears a strong resemblance to someone else besides Kate Middleton...Stavvy!

According to this ABC news report , Prince Harry is romancing local resident and Kate Middleton look-a-like, 26-year-old cocktail waitress Jessica Donaldson.

Stavvy and Jessica during Jessica's days as Stavvy's assistant
I almost soiled my shorts when I saw this picture because just a couple of years ago, Jessica Donaldson was  Stavvy’s personal and business assistant (!!!). Yes, our very own Stavvy! (For more on Stavvy, see our cast of characters tab to the right).

Watch the ABC news feature...after the jump!

Peek A BOO!

courtesy WOW

Welcome to TWL's Week of Terror!



Our goal: to make sure you are as terrified as this grown ass man who is forced to face his greatest fear….

Cuddly Puppies.

Yup.

Fringe Recap: Season 4 Episodes 1-4


Life Without Pacey:
Everything You Need to Know About
Fringe's Season 4's 1st Four Episodes
By FutureCindy

Howdy - I'm FutureCindy and I'll be recapping Fringe on Tea with Lemon until Fox decides to free up my Friday evenings by canceling Fringe, a.k.a the best show you're not watching. Since there wasn't a new episode this week, and the show is a hot, trippy mess, figured I'd kick off with a recap of everything you need to know about this season so far.

Warning: If you are a diehard Fringe fan, this recap will be inadequate at best. You guys are crazy with your hypothesis and speculations. And remember, this ain't no Lord of the Rings. It's J.J. Abrams - the king of bullshit.

What universe are we on?



Yes, there are multiple universes on Fringe and you can tell which universe is featured on the week's show based on the opening sequence which has a specific hue and names of weird fringe sciences in that universe:

get the rest of this fun Fringe 411...after the jump!

10.22.2011

Supernatural Recap: Shut Up, Dr. Phil

Just Like Old Times 
by Joshowa 

Despite it's embarrassing, trying-too-hard title, I was looking forward to last night's episode. Why? Because two Buffy the Vampire Slayer alums, Charisma Carpenter and James Marsters, were set to guest star. Did it live up to expectations? Read on to find out! (Spoiler: mostly.)

Reunited and it feels so good
THEN!
A whole bunch of stuff happened, which pretty much serves as a spoiler to what's going to go down this episode. Seriously, I have to quit watching these little reminder sections if don't I want to be able to see what's coming a million miles away.

NOW!
Some sassy realtor lady getting highlights at the salon (we'll find out later her name is Wendy) is on the phone convincing another lady to sell her house to punish her soon-to-be ex-husband. Wendy's hair stylist pulls down the hair dryer upon her head, sets the timer and leaves. It's not long before it is overheating and sucking Wendy's head up in deep. She shouts and struggles, but no one hears her scream as her face is melted off. The stylist returns, lifts up the hair dryer and is is treated to the goopy mess that was once Wendy's head. Horrified, he screams his way into the…

TITLE SCREEN!
When do Spike and Cordelia show up? Find out, after the jump!

10.21.2011

Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap: Mama is Busy Bringing Home Bacon Edition

General reaction to gingerbreadmama's "but I was off-site in a sales conference," excuse for this truncated  column.
 This week’s round-up of entertainment highlights: I’ve been off-site in a sales conference all week with minimal Internet access so this is an abbreviated edition edition

 Knocked up, not fat


Jessica Simpson and baby daddy, Eric Johnson, who once played tight end for the San Francisco 49ers but is now a free agent  (Let's keep it real...he is  "between jobs" or "unemployed".  But since he played football for Yale, and bagged Jessica Simpson. I doubt if he is hurting financially).

Take that Nick! You may have gotten engaged and remarried before me but I’m having a baby first Jessica Simpson finally acknowledges that its baby weight not scarfing down Burger King that has made her appear heavy in recent photos. Sources claim that her lack of admission regarding her pregnancy was because she was holding out for someone to pay her for the confirmation. I guess she needs to make money somehow but I feel bad for her unborn child. Don’t expect her to rock the pregnancy pounds like Gwen or Jennifer, as apparently she’s been quoted as saying, “Well, now I can eat anything I want and no one will care. It's just sort of a rule with pregnant women.” Trust me, if you are a celeb (and it doesn’t matter if you are on the B list or not), people will care.


more baby daddy and a low point in gossipy vulgarity, after the jump!



Google Plus vs Twitter vs Facebook


Except when bottoming for Google!

My Thoughts on the Social Big Guns
by HnH Dan

Now that Google+ has been around for a few months, I think I am starting to see where it fits within the whole social networking space...

Facebook is primarily a place where you socialize with people you know (although sometimes not) and don't mind sharing most posts with the entire group.  Although you can isolate conversations to different friends or groups of friends, in practice, this feature doesn't seem to be utilized because segregating posts was never integral to the design of Facebook.  Because posts are typically unsecured and visible to all friends, family, acquaintances, etc., Facebook users often post content that is more general and filtered to the most "innocent" of friends (i.e., remember that your 5-year old niece is going to see your post)

More opinionated and pompous windbaggery...after the jump!

"I'm Worried About Andrew" - Chronicle Trailer

UPDATE 


More Chronicle Videos
the newest trailer


preview video clip!

original post awaits you...after the jump!

10.20.2011

BEHOLD! The Mother of All Hot Wheels Tracks!


 This is for the kid in all of us...Guys!

A 2,000-foot-long Hot Wheels track that goes up and down multiple stories, through 14 rooms of a house, outdoors and back in again, and even over a hot tub. According to Yahoo sports: For perspective's sake, if we use the typical 1/64 ratio of Hot Wheels cars, this is the equivalent of a 24-mile-long race track.

Watch the amazing video.....after the thing that says more here...


From the Desk of the Editor in Chief: Two Pump Quickie




I got one more for you that especially applies to comfortable white folks after the jump!