Glee-ful recap: Glee Tour 2011 Concert in San Diego

Teenage Dream
by CaliforniaKara

Gleeks rejoiced as the 2011 Glee tour sang its way into the San Diego Sports Arena on Sunday, May 29th. (Yes, I refused to call it by its new, branded, corporate name.)

The opening act again this year was The LXD (The League of Extraordinary Dancers), who did an incredible...no, make that phenomenal job showing off their mad dance skills. If you haven't already watched them in action, I highly suggest you jump on over and watch their web series. After you pick your jaw up off the ground, you can thank me later.

The cutest Gleek by far. He's even
rocking Pavarotti on his shoulder!

The LXD played a shorter set than last year, but then again so did they Glee kids, who came on a little after 8:30 p.m. and finished at 9:48 p.m. All the cast members were present and accounted for, save the adult characters, who appeared via pre-taped bits. Shue and Sue traded witty barbs, then got out of the way so 14,000 screaming fans could live their teenage dream of seeing the cast perform live.

Throughout the show, they stayed mainly in character. At one point, during skit in which Kurt asks Blaine to join glee club, Kurt pulled a total Jack McFarland and flitted about. I was in tears.

I taped bits and pieces of the show (I wanted to enjoy it and not spend all night fixed on keeping my iPhone steady), but there are places around the interwebs that have the entire performances. Here's a rundown of the bits I taped, with running commentary.

"New Directions" opened with Don't Stop Believing (and it was just as good as when I saw them do it on last year's tour):




Amber Riley, who plays Mercedes, tore it up on Ain't No Way. Since I seemed to recall Miss T having a happy fit over Amber's rendition, I recorded a few seconds of it for him:

Read More

Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap: When Hot Chicks Go Bad Edition

This week’s round-up of entertainment highlights: Can’t wait for the long holiday weekend edition..

When hot chicks go bad 
Estella Warren, model, actress, one time #1 hot babe on Maxim’s list, had a really bad night. Or one that started off good (she was allegedly intoxicated) but went downhill. According to reports, while driving her Prius she hit three parked cars and then fled the scene. When stopped by police she kicked the officer. When they got her to the station, she somehow managed to get out of her hand-cuffs and make a break for the exit.

She was booked for felony escaping police custody, misdemeanor DUI, misdemeanor hit-and-run and misdemeanor battery on a police officer. Her bail was set at $100,000, which according to gree.autoblog.com is about four times the cost of her car.

Read More

Lex in The Afternoon: Age of Innocence Edition

After my last angry column, which was brought on by the fact that we do really stupid shit sometimes and then blame it on whatever just happens to be there- case in point:

I thought it was time to take a step back and do something lighter. So this week we're keeping it pure as I bring you a shit-ton of purity in a special Age of innocence edition of Lex in the Afternoon:

Holy F*ck! A Lion!

T tells me the The Blow-Up Doll will lose her sh*t for this one next one as she's an otter freak:

Read More

A moment of silence please.

American Idol Playback: If You Think There Would Be A Surprise--You've Got Another Thing Comin'! Dream On!

By Heather PV.

Here we are! The Idol finale! Where “America” will crown a country crooner as its “Idol!”

Ryan is in his tux again. I hope he had it dry cleaned between last night and tonight, because I have a hunch he sweats like a wrestler in a rubber suit.

Ryan says 122 million votes were cast for these two twangy fools. Hard to believe, but I never doubt the Seacrest.

Randy "cartoonish black bowtie" Jackson, The World's Most Beautiful Woman 2011, and Dorothy Zbornak.

Randy is in a white suit jacket with a cartoonish black bowtie. Steven has never looked more like a Golden Girl. And JLo is wearing a nude/sparkly number I can’t quite see behind her massive mane.

Lauren and Scott walk on stage dressed all in white. Scott looks like he’s ready to lounge in a cabana, and Lauren looks like she’s ready to service whatever elderly dandy is in the cabana next door. Seriously! Lay of the bedazzler, Lauren!

"Born This Way" is brutalized and left for dead on the Idol stage. Gays pray that it recovers in time for  pride season.

The Top 13 come back together to sing “Born this Way.” They’re all in white, too. Are we at one of Puffy’s famous all-white parties? Because I’m not wearing white. I’m wearing a pair of holey sleep pants and a too-small tank top — but not too small in a sexy, tight way. My tank top is too short, so I look like a married, motherly female version of Urkel. Hot, right? Totally.

Read More

Token Report Card

Other dog owners take note: Token's leash has a little unit that stores waste disposing baggies. I think that should be a law because no one likes to step in dog sh*t!

In the story that sparked intense interest (ok, not that intense but Dave the Strange showed up out of the wood-work to throw in his two cents about it), Token the pooch was rescued from Afghanistan by Beefy-Jon and arrived to the states, understandably, traumatized. Here’s a small update in the form of a report card, on how she’s adjusting. The first of comments are from Beefy-Jon, the second set are from me, or as many people like to call it, the actual truth.

Beefy Jon: Token is adjusting marvelously and she’s so sweet and loves everyone. Yes, she wanted to make a meal of my two year old niece but I’m sure kids just scare her. Yes, she growls at everyone who gets in the way of her food AND at EVERY SINGLE STRANGER she meets and has snapped at a few people, but keep in mind she hasn’t bitten anyone since she’s been here. Yes, we had quite the scene at the tennis courts yesterday (I had to bring her to the courts because, besides myself, there’s only one other person to watch her and she can’t be alone  all day) when she lost it and started barking at strangers on the other side of the fence and then freaked out because I was on the court furthest from her. But this was a good thing as it rattled T and he lost the game. Yes, the fact that she was relaxed one second and then in a frenzy the next may lead some to call her “unpredictable” but keep in mind she was able to play with Krazy-Kim’s dog, Brooklyn, without incident (and Brooklyn’s none too bright) so with those extra points, her “progress from trauma” is a solid A+

T: What a difference a couple of weeks can make. When I first met Token I was slightly terrified that she would bite the pocket of meat in the back of my head, now, I’m overwhelmingly terrified that she is going to bite the pocket of meat in the back of my head! You know how most dogs come running up to you, smiling, with tails wagging? Token is not that dog. If Token comes running up to you there is probably a bit of pain in your future. The only joy in her world is Beefy-Jon so don’t get in the way of that or her food. I swear she was mad at me at the Tennis Courts because we were having too much fun during our intense tournament known as, “The Bagel Tour”(You’d be guffawing too if you heard Beefy-Jon mimic my finger-wag and sass trademark, “Not Today!” after blocking one of my shots. Luckily he left off the purse-lipped, neck-roll that I follow that up with as that would have been over the top). Even more troubling, was her growling and loud, animated barking at strangers (it was quite a show!). Not helping, is BJ’s insistence that she is perfect in every way. I swear she lunged for my arm, but BJ said, “Oh no she’s just trying to smell you! She loves you!”

mmm-hmmm. Anyway, she is a cute pooch AND I see her value as a weapon in case I’m ever forced to confront trailer-park refugee’s with bad hair and saggy breasts (“Bite that droopy boob!”) or buck-toothed grifters with big butts (“Attack! Rescue the good family silver!”), as I have in the past. It is on this hope, that instead of a flat out F, Token’s “progress from trauma” is a solid D+

Good Day

Glee-ful Finale Fever Recap: New York

No Air

By CaliforniaKara

There are two things that make me very, very happy: Wicked and Glee. Sure, there are a bunch of other showtunes (Rent) and TV shows (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) that I enjoy, but Wicked and Glee thrill me. They’re both about the underdog overcoming obstacles and triumphing.

That whirlwind you heard around 9:15 PT tonight in the San Diego sky? No, not a monster tornado (though the Dorothy reference isn’t lost on me)...it was my eventual implosion as the two came together in this episode.

When Rachel and Kurt made it a point to visit the Gershwin Theatre to see Wicked, my heart skipped a beat. During “For Good” I altogether forgot to breathe. Literally, physically forgot to breathe. Tears welled at the beauty of it all. They’re harmonies, fantastic; the camera angles, flowing; the set, gorgeous. (Whether they were the right characters to sing those words aside...they were the perfect performers to helm it.)

As my BFF, a proud card-carrying friend of Dorothy, texted to me right after the song ended: “#1 Glee moment of all time.”

Word.

But that’s also why this ep worked: the moments. Small and big ones alike: Kurt’s surprised face when Blaine blurted out “I love you” at the coffee shop; Finn blurting his tongue into Rachel’s mouth; Trouty Mouth and Mercedes holding hands; Kurt and Rachel having breakfast at Tiffany’s; Quinn breaking down in front of Brittany and Santana; and, finally, the latter going all Lima Adjacent batshit crazy on Rachel post-performance (ESCUCHA!).

The rest of the ep followed a fun romp through the city, leading to the inevitable 12^th place finish out of 50 competing show choirs to wrap up Glee’s second season. Oh, and by the way, it wasn’t Finn’s kiss that ruined your chances at Nationals, kids. It was the crappy original songs that you spent all of half of half of one day composing. (Did you even rehearse?)

Alas, as Brittany said, “This year wasn’t about winning...it was about acceptance.” The Glee club kids fight, date each other, storm off, reject one another, but in the end accept each other. While the season was up and down – and all over the place with subplots and subplots of subplots – the last 20 minutes harkened back to season 1. Here’s to hoping they keep that momentum going into season 3.

Like Brittany, I’m looking forward to spending another year with the folks we’ve come to love! (And loathe, in some cases, as fans who have fallen off the show’s bedazzled bandwagon can attest to – I’m looking at you, Marja.)

While the season’s over, you’ll still get one more Glee-related recap from me before summer hiatus: I’m heading to the Glee Live concert Sunday night here in San Diego, so I’ll post a review after. Otherwise, enjoy your summer off, Gleeks!

Morning Announcements                                    

(i.e., questions, comments & sarcastic remarks)

·        If Zeus and the Real Housewives of West Palm Beach had a love child, I’m convinced that first show choir full of flowy white dresses and wispy hair would be the unholy result.

·        “I was just thinking of splitting them up boys and girls.” – Shue / “Most of the other teams split by sexual orientation.” – Hotel front desk attendant

·        There must be something in the film in New York – the show’s scenes that were shot there just looked better. Richer, deeper, clearer, whatever. Like they used different cameras or film.

·        "He did seem crazy. He charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt crack." – Rachel (Anyone else flash back to Jack swiping his through Karen’s bosom on Will & Grace?)

·        Recognize the strings behind Finn and Rachel’s Central Park bridge meeting? It was Gershwin’s Someone To Watch Over Me. Not exactly subtle, but cute.

·        Didn’t recognize Shue’s song? That’s because it was blatantly crappy cross-promotionalization of Matthew Morrison’s new album. The track’s called “Still Got Tonight.”

·        "You need to ask her out tonight. Take her on one of those big awful dates you see on those unwatchable romantic comedies that you grow a vagina with if you watch all the way through." – Puck

·        Finally, they did something different with Quinn’s hair. Less Farrah Fawcett Barbie and more high school Barbie. Maybe the rest of the season was just wigs?

·        Oh, the writers had a field day with the Top 10 choir names: Portland Scale Blazers, Vocal Adrenaline, The Waffletoots (a dig on Yale’s Whiffenpoofs), Singaz With Attitude, Jefferson City Airplane, Twelve Steps, Vocal Chordz, Soundsplosion, Teenage Scream, and Vocal Extreme.

·        Was the New Directions’ final performance song a big fat middle finger to the fans who complain about auto tune? Because they overly auto tuned the hell out of it!

·        "They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly." – Goolsby

·        Sure, I fawned over the Wicked part too much. But can you blame me? I sat in that very theatre, row 21, stage right, for one of the Original Broadway Cast’s (yes, with Idina Menzel – Rachel’s mom – as Elphaba and Kristin Chenoweth – April Rhodes – as Glinda) last shows before they began leaving Wicked. What can I say, I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff.

·        "I'm spending my summer composing Pip, Pip, Hooray! The Broadway musical about Pippa Middleton." – Kurt

Dancing With The Stars Scorecard: Final Elimination!

Twinkletoes Takes the Trophy!

by SD Mattchew

Tonight’s Dancing with the Stars results finale opened with a look back at Season 12.  I decided to do the same thing myself.  I remembered how critics had once claimed the stars just weren’t “star” enough.  Since they had assembled all of the contestants for the finale, I was able to revisit this issue and come up with some solid determinations at last.  What I realized is that there must be other criteria, aside from merely being “a star,” that DWTS contestants probably have to pass to get on the show. 

Here’s what I’ve come up with: 

1)      Must be human in origin (either male or female is acceptable). 

2)      Must breathe air. 

3)      Must not have been a professional dancer (except strippers).  

Having star power or not, no one could argue after watching tonight’s show that these contestants haven’t racked up some dancing skills.  (Except funny man Mike Catherwood maybe, but his moves were moved quickly to the curb after fizzling way back in Week 1.)

As of tonight, the group of DWTS “stars” had been whittled down to only three:  Football MVP Hines Ward – loved by the judges, Kirstie Alley – loved by the majority of the viewers’ call-in votes, and Disney Channel star Chelsea Kane – loved mainly by herself.  The battle would ultimately take place between Hines and Kirstie since we never really got a clear read on who Chelsea was – though the judges’ feedback tonight in her final performance would try to convince her that we thought she was relevant. 

Before the Kirstie vs. Hines battle began…

The Black Eyed Peas ran through another of their tired tributes to Tron as they performed their latest tune “Don’t Stop the Party.” 

We received the usual round of judge fluff with Len, Bruno, and Carrie Ann talking about the remaining stars’ strengths. 

We watched an amusing skit/performance with horrible dancer extraordinaire Mike Catherwood as he dawned pink leg warmers for his “audition” for the show.  (This was also a big help for me in realizing what it takes to meet DWTS criteria.  Thanks, DWTS producers!) 

Some of the previously-purged participants returned to perform again:  Ralph Macchio, Petra Nemcova, Chris Jericho and Sugar Ray Leonard, and the bounty of booty herself – Kendra Wilkinson.  Once again, she shook it over the judges’ table, much to Len’s slobbering delight.  

Son of a rapper Romeo also danced – and performed his obligatory shameless plug of his Twitter feed. 

Wendy Williams provided a bizarre skit as she pretended to interview herself and her former partner, Tony Dovolani.  While weird and awkward, her feedback about Kirstie was pretty funny.  “When it’s all said and done, she’d be the perfect drinking partner.”  I’d drink to that!

There was a Stars of Dance performance, which was essentially another one of those “power of dance to change lives” things.  At least this week they made attempts to keep things from being depressing. 

The Go Go’s performed their once-hit “We’ve Got the Beat.”  Major kudos to the Go Go’s for not playing any new material… or any additional material for that matter.

There was a weird segment that followed the Go Go’s that I would describe as a song made out of various DWTS commentary, shrieking, and some quotes from Len that seemed to rhyme. 

A country music singer performed. 

Then, at last, the three finalists had a chance to perform their favorite routines for score.  This was originally designed to figure into who would be handed tonight’s trophy, but it wound up being something just for the sake of seeing these three stars perform again.  That’s because they all received the same scores (perfect 30s).  They also all received the same useless feedback from the judges that often crops up in DWTS finale shows and serves no real purpose other than to butter up the contestants.  It’s what I like to refer to as “commontary.”

Len:  “Bottom line, you are a fantastic dancer.  Well done.”

Bruno:  “You saved the best for last.  Flamboyant fun!”

Carrie Ann:  “I love you for being you!”

Who did these generic comments apply to?  Who cares?  Last night’s scores were in.  Tonight’s scores meant nothing.  Who would win the mirror ball trophy?

Not Chelsea Kane.  First to be eliminated of the three finalists, her plot to overwhelm fans with her cuteness was at last trumped by Hines (who was a better dancer) and Kirstie (who was a lot more fun.)  

So it came down to Kirstie vs. Hines. 

Suck on this losers!

The winner:  Hines “Twinkletoes” Ward.  Congrats, Hines!

Kirstie:  You’ve got no reason at all to feel bad about the turnout.  You might have lost, but you clearly lost a lot of weight along the way.  Nice work!

Letter From the Editor for May: Food Porn Edition

I normally do not hear from T over the weekend unless we have plans (he isn't one for chit chat) but I was not shocked when I received this photo, along with this caption, "Best NY strip I've ever had in my life. And I do declare I saw Oprah in that avocado salad!  Operation 'Poison the muthaf*cka into a state of paralysis and then bleed the bastard slowly has been aborted.'"

In the world of food porn, this would be considered a double penetration. Food so good it was able to right previous wrongs, and improve the mental health of those who consumed it.

Please take a moment and enjoy.

American Idol Feedback: Country Hell

by Heather PV

The show kicks off with an old video of Carrie Underwood at age 8 singing “Somewhere Out There.” She’s really flat. And I’m not just talking about her voice.

Then we see David Cook at age 10 mumbling something into a microphone.

I guess this is showing us that all American Idols start somewhere. Which they do. We all do. And I hope to hell no one shows footage of my tender, horribly painful years on national television.

Lauren at age 10, singing, and Scotty at age who cares, mugging for the camera. Some things never change.

JLo has outdone herself tonight. She is wearing a truly hideous emerald green, sparkly mini-dress — with see-through sleeves, no less! I swear that same dress cost at least one Russian ice dancer the gold in 2010. Steven looks appropriately rocker, Randy is in tan (way to mix it up, dog), and Ryan busted out his tux for the occasion.

The boy Next Door vs. The Southern Belle. Youngest finale match-up ever. Yadda yadda yadda.

Lauren, for once, looks halfway decent. Notice I said “halfway.” She still looks like a Vegas hooker with a heart of gold and the hair of a dead country legend named Crystal or something of that nature.

Scott has taken the enormity of the evening seriously and is wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Way to go, Scotty. Nothing says “Idol” like Howdy Doody on dress-down day.

Ryan calls a bald man in what looks like black workout gear on stage. He explains that during rehearsal, Lauren blew out one of her vocal chords. She’s drugged up. She’s not in fighting voice. But he thinks Lauren will do just fine.

Scott sings “Gone,” which is billed as his favorite song of the season. It’s country and he’s clearly loving the performance.

Lauren sings her favorite song of the season, but they don’t say the name so I’m assuming it’s something about being back on the floor. She’s sharp in the beginning, but she doesn’t sound all that different. Those must be some crazy drugs. She doesn’t seem to be holding back, poor thing.

Not like she has a hope to win it. This is Scotty’s competition, and everyone knows it.

George Strait, Scott’s personal idol, picked his next song, “Check Yes or No.” I think. Ryan is good at live hosting and all, but he’s a typical annoying DJ when it comes to announcing song titles.

Scott threw on a pink plaid shirt for this particular musical travesty, and he may be playing his guitar, but he doesn’t seem remotely at ease with this song. Not that it matters. They ought to just give him the golden microphone right now. Is that what they win? I hope it’s not a statue of one of those creepy, sexless digital people that “dance” in the show’s opening. I have nightmares about those guys. Or girls. Whatever they are.

Carrie Underwood picked Lauren’s next song, “Maybe It Was Memphis.” Never heard it before. Lauren must be borrowing JLo’s craptastic stylist because she looks like a ballerina/ice dancer for this song, too. And what is it with the enormous rings Lauren wears all the time? Is she trying to distract from the mole on her face? Because it’s not working.

By the way, there has been no judge feedback up until now.

Randy says it’s so even, but Scotty’s reprisal of “Gone” was brilliant, so Round One goes to Scott. But Round Two goes to Lauren.

Jennifer says she felt the same way as Randy.

Steven makes no sense.

Now here comes Tiao Cruz singing “Positive.” Lots of lasers, lots of Technicolor glowing, lots of sunglasses. The best part is when his “mic” drops out. I am a mean person sometimes.

Jimmy Iovine picks the last round of songs. “I Love You This Way” is Scott’s. I think. Jimmy kind of mumbled the name, and I’ve never heard of it.

I hate this guy. Honestly, I do. But now I feel bad, because he’s just a kid. How about I say that Scott annoys me? Is that less awful?

Randy says he marvels at Scott’s range and he’s in it to win it. I want to send Randy to Language Camp this summer.

Jennifer says Scott is a storyteller.

Steven says stuff that makes no sense.

Jimmy’s song for Lauren is “Like My Mother Does,” and I guess it’s supposed to be “her song” if she wins. I guess we won’t have to worry about that, then.

In this song you can really hear that Lauren’s voice is compromised. Not her pitch, which is flawless, but it’s raspy and not nearly as powerful as it usually is. I hope she heals up soon. She sings to her creepy mom in the audience, who breaks down. So does Lauren. They must be freakishly close.

Randy says the song was great and her performance was amazing.

Jennifer says Lauren may have won with that song. JLo has to know that’s not true.

Steven eats one of his hair feathers and takes his pants off.

Just seeing if you’re paying attention.

Tomorrow is the epic, two-plus hour results show. Wish me luck.

Greedy? Then This is For You.

Was it necessary? No. Was it gluttonous and indulgent? Yes. But was it absurdly delicious? Yes, yes it was.

TWL recommends Rei Da Gado Churrascaria-house to the greedy. The food never stops coming. The salad bar, stuffed great with crab legs, salmon, prosciutto with capers, giant shrimp, etc. is more than enough. But those meat carver people keep coming to your table and slicing off tender slices of beef (several varieties), and turkey and chicken that HAVE BEEN WRAPPED IN BACON! It was delicious. Even Stavvy, who normally eats like a bird, lost her composure and ate like a pregnant truck driver. Lisa from Min-e-soh-ta matched her flank steak for flank steak.

Here’s the rub. For $43 per person weekday and $49 per person on the weekends; Rei Da Gado don’t come cheap (Well for us it did, this meal was comped.)

But  if you are like me, a selfish and greedy carnivore with a hunger for juicy steaks and meaty crab legs, and lack enough sense to know when it's time to stop eating, then this is actually a value.

Due to the rampant indulgence (I think about us sitting around afterwards, almost comatose, guts stuffed great with meat, and I shudder), I think I should caution that this is really only appropriate for birthdays, anniversaries, slump-busters, etc.

When you turn this contraption with the red side facing up it means, "no mas!" or "no more!" and they stop bringing meats to the table.

  

Fun Pop Quiz:

Which of the following was NOT uttered by at least one member of our party at Rei Do Gado’s Brazilian steakhouse last night:

1.       I haven’t had this much meat in my mouth since that Pride after-party.

2.       I haven’t been stuffed with this much meat since I slept with that basketball player in college.

3.       I just can’t stop saying yes to that man’s meat.  

If you answered, 2, you would be correct.

Donna D just sent me, yet another, True Blood season 4 preview. Truth be told, I think it's the best one yet!

I think this is as good a time as any to announce that SD Mattchew will be handling the season 4 re-caps. This means he'll finally get some love in the comments section because, at the very least, I'll have something to say.

Good Day

Dancing With The Stars Scorecard: The Finale!

by SD Mattchew.

If you run into one of those online polls that asks who you think will win Dancing with the Stars tomorrow night, choose Kirstie Alley.  I suggest this not because I think Kirstie had the best performance in tonight’s DWTS finals.  I say this because I just like Kirstie.  And so do a lot of other people.  And that might be all the edge that the only real “star” left on this show needs for a win. 




The finals started off with Disney Channel’s Chelsea Kane proving that her diabolical plot to convince the judges to worship her for her epic cuteness was now complete.  They handed her a 29 score for a somewhat sluggish Samba and a perfect 30 for a Freestyle performance that, while extremely energetic and bouncy, suffered a few timing issues and a wardrobe short circuit.  Chelsea earned 1 out of my allotted 5 call-in votes tonight.  For solid, second place performances.  And – for being cute.

Kirstie Alley might have come in third place on the leader board tonight, but she had some pretty ballsy performances that scored her some well-deserved judge love.  Sure, there were a couple of moments where it looked like her partner Maks was stirring cake batter more than leading her through a Samba.  But Kirstie did manage to kick it up a notch for her Freestyle by chucking off her skirt, showing us every one of her 60 year old curves in a tight black body suit, and then performing in this outfit a cart wheel and about fifty lifts.  Nice job, Kirstie!  You earned 4 of my 5 allotted votes tonight.  Because you were ballsy.  And because… well, you were you. 

Football MVP Hines Ward is arguably the most talented dancer of the three finalists.  That doesn’t mean he’s going to win this thing.  Still, anybody who could dress up tonight like a glittering drum major for his Freestyle, dance with a baton to the Jackson 5, include a moon walk, and introduce all of this as a tribute to football definitely gets my vote.  Unfortunately for Hines, I would have already used up all of them on Kirstie. 

So we head into the final round tomorrow with Chelsea and Hines tied with a 59 score and Kirstie Alley trailing them with a 54 point total.

Who’s taking that mirror ball home? 

If Heather PV Was Scared Of Her Before....

She'll be even more terrified after watching The First Lady, Lady Gaga, Dumb Bono, Stevie Wonder, Barbara Streisand and many more blow so much smoke up her ass it looks a bit thicker than usual when she takes the stage(and brings it!) afterwards, with a legion of heavy breathing dancers and special affects in tow, to let you know she runs this muthaf*cka.



Love how Rhianna is so awe-struck she can only clap madly like a seal, while Jay-Z looks similarly awe-struck, and a little insecure, like a man who's had Irreplaceable sung to him one too many times...

Bad Movie Night - You Should Start One of Your Own

The idea for "Bad Movie Night" sparked after I saw Piranha 3-D and fell madly in love with it. It was a hot, gory, thrilling, fun mess of a movie that certainly isn't everyone's cup of tea (Do you think it's funny if someone is parasailing and after a brief dip into the ocean they've been eaten alive from the waist down? Then you are sick and wrong but probably appreciate a good bad movie), but the not having to pay close attention to the movie, while yukking it up and cracking jokes is a fun element missing from the cinema these days (unless you're in a theater with a lot of black people) since drive-ins ran out of gas*.

Although no one knows we are here, let's take this raggedy ass boat into the middle of this uncharted Bayou. What could possibly go wrong?

So thus, for a few months now with Lex, whoever he is dating at the time, and Stavvy (Who never really shared my love of the movies. Turns out she just has a love for bad movies), Bad Movie Night has been a Sunday mainstay.

After the heroine ripped the arm off of a corpse to lure the mean-spirited gator, so she could put a cap in it, Lex barked, "I'm onboard!!"

After a good run of "who's getting out of here alive?" survivalist fare, (like Frozen - Preposterous shlock with teens stranded on a ski lift with hungry wolfs below, and especially Primal-Action packed silliness with twenty-somethings stranded in the Australian Outback that are turned into zombie like killers, one by one), Bad Movie Night briefly derailed after I got lazy and picked a stinker about a killer truck (I can't remember the name to warn you) that wasn't only awful, it was boring. I don't care if you suck, but if you're boring, well that's unforgivable. Luckily, I rebounded strongly with last night's pick, Black Water, a fun fun fun movie made on a shoestring budget (it may have been shot with a cellular phone video camera) about a mean spirited alligator (it is flat out rude) that terrorizes four (then 3...then 2...) people in the bayou. It claims to be "Based on a True Story" (cue guffawing and we're only on the opening credits).

Yup. The King's Speech it isn't. But guess what? I may not feel like such lofty fair on a Sunday night so don't judge me. I eagerly await November's, Piranha 3-D Sequel (Piranha 3DD! With Gary Busey, Ving Rhames, and David Hasselhoff!), which will swiftly find its way to 3-D Blu-Ray DVD (!!!) after it bombs in the theatre.

That will be taking Bad Movie Night to a whole new level!
Good Day

*Yes Kara, I know there's a drive-in in Santee but I don't think I'm welcome there.

Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap: Pumped Up and Humped Edition

This week’s round-up of entertainment highlights: Smut, death and stuff to watch on TV

Mama Editorial

Was anyone really shocked to find out Arnold had an affair and fathered a child from that discretion? Doubtful. The fact that he kept the boy hidden for as long as he did was a little surprising, especially since the Davis hounds had sniffed out rumors of a tot way back when but the only thing they could get to stick was the groping allegations.

I feel for Maria and the children but the saddest part about this is that it’ll blow over and he’ll come out relatively unscathed and continue to have a career. Sure he’ll always have his haters, but the news didn’t break while he was in office, it didn’t even happen while he was in office and it’s not like he’s the only man ever to cheat on his wife (hello Clinton, hello Kennedys, hello Kobe, hello Tiger, hello Jesse). Lame jokes abound but one of the funniest I read was a headline from the Boston Herald Now it’s official: Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Kennedy.

The Editor in Chief chose all photos for this post so don't blame GM for reefer use.

It’s a sad state of affairs, literally, when a scandal of this magnitude can cause a ripple and then just sort-of fade away but look at all the other celebs/public figures that have screwed up one way or another, rebounded and still have careers (and some are practically revered). Robert Downey Jr., Winona Ryder, Kobe Bryant, Lindsey Lohan, Tiger Woods, Jesse James (who continues to bring the hurt with his book – ahole), Bill Clinton, Marv Albert, Rush Limbaugh, Charlie Sheen, Rudy Giuliani, George Michael, Britney Spears, Courtney Love...the list is long (and I know I’ve forgotten many).

Although they did, no blood test was needed.

But the point is that many public figures have scandals hanging in their closets yet the world keeps spinning. Do you even recall what some of the above named people did? Exactly.

As much as Arnold is a schmuck, this won’t taint his career for long. He’s just the Scandal Du Jour and sadly, someone else will screw up soon enough and turn the media spotlight elsewhere.

Randy Savage, R.I.P

At just 58 years old, wrestling icon Randy Savage had a heart attack while driving and was killed in a car accident this morning (5/20) in Tampa, Florida. He is survived by his wife Lynne. The couple had no children.

Blending and branding

ABC’s Castle is being worked into a graphic novel (the cover art was debuted in the season finale). Teaming up with Marvel Entertainment, ABC will publish the 112-pager written by “Brian Michael Bendis (Avengers, Ultimate Comics Spider-Man) and Kelly Sue DeConnick (Captain America and The Secret Avengers). Lan Medina (Fables) will handle the interior art; Carlo Pagulayan (Planet Hulk) created the cover art”. The book is titled Richard Castle's Deadly Storm and hits stores September 2011.

Castle creator and executive producer Andrew W. Marlow, “We are incredibly excited to be partnering with Marvel to bring Richard Castle's early literary works to life. It's a great way to expand the Castle universe for all our fans.”

Happy tidbits

• Sarah Palin's son, Track, 22, married his high school sweetheart, Britta Hanson, 21.
• Best Actress winner Marion Cotillard gave birth to son Marcel.
• Don’t know if this is a happy tidbit or not but seemed as good a place as any to spill it: Lindsey Lohan told an Australian radio station that she still likes boys. When asked, “We'd love to know whether you're like a lesbian or whether you're a bi ... 'cause boys wanna know if they still have a chance ... have we still got a chance?” She replied, “Yes”. So there ya have it, in case you care.

Movie News

·         Vin Diesel is set to star in a new movie not unlike the one he voiced in 1999, Iron Giant. He will produce and star in “the action-comedy The Machine, playing a human-like machine created in secrecy by the Pentagon as the world’s first true ultimate weapon. Twenty years after the project was buried and decommissioned for reasons unknown, The Machine is discovered by a kid who befriends him. When the government learns it has been reactivated, the Machine must protect the family harboring him.”

• Stephen Fry joins the cast of The Hobbit, playing The Master of Laketown. The Hobbit: Part 1 comes to theaters December 2012.

TV news

• Everything old is new. Seth MacFarlane will revamp The Flintstones for Fox in 2013. According to him, “It will look the same. The only thing that will change are the stories we tell. What's the animal version of an iPad? That's something we'll have to figure out.”
• Katie Couric left CBS. Rumor still abounds that she will join ABC in a daytime talk show capacity.
• Captain “Sully” Sullenberger joins CBS news as an “aviation and safety expert”. CBS news Chairman Jeff Fager calls him “American treasure” and “a real thrill to have him on our team at CBS News”.
• CW announced the Fall schedule, adding new shows Hart of Dixie, Ringer (SMG returns to small screen – wee), H8R, and The Secret Circle. Nikita was renewed and both Nikita and 90210 will move to new time slots.
• Olivia Munn signed on to the new Aaron Sorkin pilot More As This Story Develops to air on HBO.
• Series creator and notoriously anti-spoiler queen Shonda Rhimes hints that next seasons Grey’s Anatomy may be the final run for some cast members, “I was busy thinking about setting us up for next season, which might be the final season for the [original cast members].” FYI…Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey’s contracts expire in a year.

“I will not be running for president, as much as I'd like to” – Donald Trump

Sources:  yahoo.com, people.com, hollywoodreporter.com, tvline.com, tvguide.com, myfreenetflix.com, eonline.com

Quote of the week –