My cousin Elizabeth, who is no longer a virgin, is having boy trouble. I so wished for her to be a lesbian (like her mother), so she could avoid having to deal with men altogether and save herself a lifetime of woe and misery, but these are the cards we've been dealt. I allotted her a whopping 15 minutes of phone time (I hate to talk on the phone so this was more than generous) and tried to play devils advocate to her litany of complaints about her current beau, most of which centered around him taking her for granted. I asked, "Is he a cheat? Does he have good hygiene? Is he kind?" (Were it a girlfriend, and not a relative, I would have asked, "Does he put it down? But, I don't want to know about her sex life, ever.) Her answers let me know that he probably wasn't that bad, just dumb and self-centered. I told her not to take it so seriously, perhaps be a little less demanding and just have fun. Thinking I solved her problems, I sent this little follow up quote:
"Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life.”
-Dr. Joyce Brothers quotes
I thought, "that may be a little bottom-ish, but I just don't think she should be toooo bitter yet and should try to look on the bright-side. I hope I didn't make a mistake by encouraging her to stick it out!"
I needn't have worried.
This morning she sent me this quote:
"The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.”
-Dr. Robert Anthony quotes (Self-help author)
Bitter (and admittedly getting wiser) at the ripe old age of 20.