Food Porn Featuring My Lover, The Steak

It's winter so I've decided to take on a lover, a T-bone Steak. Sad but true fact: Usually after I'm safely out of vulnerable time* I start day-dreaming about sex but for the last two days I've been daydreaming about a different kind of meat, the beautiful, juicy steak you see above. It was so good I actually picked it up, after I'd cut as much meat as I could from the bone, and began to bite the bone, suck the flavor from the fat and tongue-wrestle the corners in heated desperation, trying to extricate even the smallest bit of remaining meat. I would forsake Oprah herself if I could lay with it, get it pregnant, and then marry it.

Not what you think

Just like good sex, clothing can be compromised by too juicy a steak. As I grappled with the bone the juices and spices from the steak spilled over the edge of my plate and soaked my (cute) maroon, Adidas sweat-pants. But I didn't care, I would have sacrificed these and a thousand more for one more bite of that glorious steak.

Now excuse me, I'm flushed and need a cigarette.

In closing I'd like to caution you to...



I certainly try, despite my beta ways

 *I am at my most vulnerable and hyper-sensitive during my morning cup of coffee at work. This usually takes place between 7:15AM - 8:00AM where I can be found at my desk listening to British soul singer Duffy and scanning the news headlines, trying not to weep about all the cruelty, rudeness and insensitivity in the world. Vulnerable time is my Kryptonite and I'm happy when it passes so I can go back to the cold comfort of feeling dead inside.

The Redemption of Ben Affleck is Complete

Skip to the 3:41 mark of his interview with Jimmy Kimmel and soon you'll be rewarded with the answer to a long sought after question.

Has Ben Affleck always been this fun? I feel guilty for ever having turned on him.

Good Day

Late Night Brew: Mimi Monday-Part 2 of 3

The photo that continues to give compliments of No-Nonsense Laura

I have an unusual fascination with Mariah Carey. I know this because Twin told me "You have an unusual fascination with Mariah Carey. If you were a female R&B singer you would be Mariah Carey (a bloated, delusional, drunken mess). I would want you to be Mary J. Blige (ghetto fabulous yet glamorous, urban yet regal) but the reality of it is that you would be Mimi"

Bobble and Twin (fawning and clearly in love with me) at the ludicrously fun Mimi viewing party. Although she loved the dinner and tolerated the concert with  us, the bitchy Bobble later confessed that she thought the entire evening was "indulgent".  

Anyway, Mimi is so fearsome that she actually went toe to toe with someone as witty and intimidating as Eminem! Marshall Mathers and Mariah allegedly (according to him) hooked up sometime before her marriage to her bottom, Nick Cannon, and Eminem just couldn't let it go. Mariah denied any sexual involvement with Em but he certainly lost his mind and referenced her in no fewer than four songs("Superman", "Jimmy Crack Corn", "Bagpipes From Baghdad", and "The Warning").  My original post was going to be about how Mariah checked him with her top 10 hit, Obsessed, while Nick Cannon just stood on the sidelines, beefing with sassy Chelsea Handler, but after Twin had a viewing party for The Adventures of Mimi concert and things changed.


Mariah carey Vision Of Love (The Adventures of Mimi Tour 06)

Watch the video above where Mimi, wearing a gown that costs more than anything you'll ever own but still looking cheaper than even the most common Tijuana hooker, wrings more laughs out of the last minute of Vision of Love than the last 200 episodes of Saturday Night Live combined. Start at the 3:07 mark and marvel at how ham-handed, over the top, and absurd it all is. So much in fact, that you finally realize, "Mimi is far more savvier than we realized. I suspect she's actually IN on the joke!"

The Countdown



Mariah Carey One Sweet Day (The Adventures of Mimi Tour 06)
The quality of this bootleg isn't all that hot but still worth watching. Mimi digs up Boyz II Men and lead singer Wanye, clearly thrilled to be back in the spotlight, loses his sh*t and tries to out diva Mimi (!!!) she gives him a look of..."I can do this WITHOUT YOU if need be!" and he stands down. I haven't seen a check of this magnitude since Aretha had to put Celine Dion in her place at the VH1 Diva's concert.

Mimi dug up and resuscitated all of the members of Boyz II men and then trotted them out like show ponies. Impressed, Twin shrieked, "Oh my GAWD! It's Boyz II Men!!"  Like it was a huge shock.  I almost felt bad when I kept it real with, "Well, they aren't exactly busy!" Keep in mind, I think the song, I'll Make Love To You, is pure pop perfection and I can't understand why with modern technology why nothing better has come along since, but their career is as dead dead dead as the people they're singing about in....

One Sweet Day, a heartbreaking yet healing, gospel tinged duet with Boyz II Men, spent sixteen weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and is the longest running number one song in US chart history. It finishes my greatest Mimi songs list at #2 . I think it is an insult to label it as #2 of anything, because it was such a cultural phenomenon and touched so many people. Don't believe me? Just watch the crowd crumble in the video. And I don't even believe in heaven (yeah I said it) but I do believe in comforting those in times of loss. As does Mimi.

Late Night Brew - Best Of Black Friday

Like the Mimi post above, I meant to post these Black Friday videos earlier today but got side-tracked.

I know its wrong, but I get a sick kick out of dislodged wigs.

Word of Caution for The Blow Up Doll

Mik Bitterman's Blow-Up Doll LOVES Otters and would often spend hours at the zoo just staring at them and then beg to have one as pet.

The video above shows that is probably not a good idea.

Monday Morning Mirth: Coco and Lopez Spoof Oprah

And they are hilarious.

Lex In The Afternoon: F*cking Turkey Day Edition



What up? Here are some of my suggestions on things to do over the long weekend when you're not busy eating, banging, jerkin', or watching a sh*t-load of football.

Get Kinect-ed

After the Kinect looks at you and then around the room you'll want to give it a name. Like Hal.

So I'm setting up the Kinect camera for X-box 360 and it tells me to back away so it can scan the room. Then it does. This thing is self-aware. Watching it look around and take every thing in is creepy as hell but also kind of awesome. Your mind will be blown by how closely it tracks your movements and fat, out of shape gamers listen up: Just like with the PS3 Move, I was sweating up a storm while playing Kinect Adventures swat the ball out of the air game. The days of just sitting on the couch playing games is coming to a close so you should embrace it and start conditioning yourselves now. Kinect is the same price as a PS3 Move with two controllers ($149), but if forced to choose say PS3 Move has it beat for now because the playstation games are better and less kiddie (btw...Kids will lose their sh*t over Kinect for sure). After you recover from the shock of the responsiveness; Kinect Adventures starts ta kinda suck because its the same thing over and over. I'd suggest getting another game with this but I'm holding out for a rad skateboarding game.


The swat the ball out of the air game.

See Deathly Hallows

The thing about Harry Potter is I lost interest a long time ago. Never would I read the books because I just didn't give sh*t. I only went to see The Deathly Hallows because it was free. To my surprise it was written and executed extremely well and those actors brought it and then some. Get this, I'm thinking I may go see it again before it leaves the theatres (maybe even if it wasn't free). 8 out of 10.


Not what you think...


Watch Dexter, Berate Marja

I'm usually the first to tell T to "Shut Up!" when he goes off on one of his flare-ups but I was cheering him on when he defended Dexter from the unnecessary slander on Marja's part!  Dexter is f*cking Dexter and it's always f*cking amazing so if you don't like it go find other people that don't like it but leave that bull-sh*t off this blog. This is a No-Free Speech or Opinion Zone when it comes to Dexter. One slip-up and we will bully the hell out of you and it does NOT get better. Ever.

On a lighter note, you gotta check out The League on FX. Especially if you are in a fantasy football league. Shear hilarity.

Melt Your Face Off Metal


 I just picked up The Bled's new album, Heat Fetish, as well as Every Time I Die's 2009 album, New Junk Aesthetic. That's enough said right there. If I'm willing to actually purchase them, they are going to be  brace yourselves, and too heavy to lift good.

But it aint for everyone (although it should be) so maybe you should check out these videos first.


The Bled


Every time I Die

Later mang!

Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap: Boobs & Buffy Edition

Every Rose Has Its Thorn Indeed

Miley Cyrus planned on singing Poison's Every Rose Has its Thorn at last week's AMA Awards but the tune was changed due to the affair her mother and Bret Michaels (allegedly) had. That decision actually impressed me until I saw that she opted to wear this to her 18^th birthday party.

Boobs



Bet that got your attention. Katy Perry asked to have her rack made smaller in the ads for VH1's Divas Salute the Troops special. Before you freak out, it was just Perry's digitized image that was reduced; you can see the real deal if you watch the show on December 5.

 The Return of Buffy (to the big screen)



Before you get overly excited, it will be sans Joss Whedon. I know, right? How can that be?? Well, Warner Bros. is remaking the 1992 movie but apparently this new version of Buffy will not be set in high school.

Charles Roven and Steve Alexander will produce the movie, with Doug Davison and Roy Lee. Whit Anderson is writing the script.

"Whit approached us with an exciting idea about how to update Buffy," Roven said. "There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character's return to the big screen. We're thrilled to team up with Doug and Roy on a re-imagining of Buffy and the world she inhabits.... She'll be just as witty, tough and sexy as we all remember her to be."
 
According to the Los Angeles Times, the movie is scheduled to hit theaters in late 2011 or 2012If you want to know how Joss reacted, scoot over to Eonline.com for the scoop


Hair-Raising Lawsuit



Paris Hilton is being sued by Hairtech International for alleged breach of contract (one claim is that she wore competitors products while under contract) in the amount of $33 mil, but now Paris is countersuing them for $3 mil saying she was "professional and honorable".

I know I should add a good quip here but it's just.so.absurd

New couple watch



Kim Kardashian and Halle Berry's ex-beau/babydaddy (does his name matter?) are  "dating a little bit According to reports, he has already met her mother, which signifies more than "a little bit" in most relationships…surely there will be more to come.

Casting News 

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Malin Ackerman takes over Lindsay Lohan's role in the porn biopic Inferno, due to Lindsay's extended stint in rehab (she's in her sober living facility until January 3) and difficulty the filmmakers had getting insurance for her.



Jorge Garcia joins the cast of J.J. Abrams new pilot Alcatraz.

New Time Slot


Fringe moves to Friday night in late January, following Kitchen Nightmares. Sounds more like a nightmare for Fringe fans. If the numbers are not there, Fox is sure to cancel the show

Quote of the Week

via TMZ

"But it wasn't until he put his hands around my neck that I really thought to myself, you have gotten yourself in a bad, bad situation," Capri Anderson, adult film actress, commenting on why she is suing Charlie Sheen for false imprisonment and battery.

Don't care how many times you repeat a word, I'm fairly sure if someone had their hands around my neck I would be using words a lot stronger then "bad" to describe the situation.

Movies opening this week



Burlesque, Faster, Love and Other Drugs, Tangled, The Legend of Pale Male, The Nutcracker, The Kings Speech

There’s Only Room for One Clucking Hen Here!

Twin's new cooking column header has yet to be created. Enjoy this temp header in the interim

What you see below is not just the massacre of any ordinary chicken; it's the decapitation of a very special brown hen. Unfortunately, this is not the first time I've had to hack the head off of a chicken. Yet, each time my boyfriend stares in shock that I am capable of such brutality and claims that he senses joy as I hack off each head. I am not violent person and find his accusations preposterous, although I do name each hen after a different chicken-head broad I know before I put them under the guillotine. This one is named is Serie (my awful foul smelling college roommate with a voice that makes me cringe). The next hen I meet I'll probably name Donna.

I've been instructed by my mother that the brown hen is the best to use to make your own chicken stock, or in this case the best Pho broth. They are smaller, and the meat is tougher therefore it doesn't fall apart or get soggy when boiling for many hours. But brown hens are not found at your local grocers, rather to find such a special hen, you must go to an Asian market like Ranch 99. If you haven't been to a Ranch 99, you're in for a definite culture shock. It is not a place for the squeamish. You'll see cow hearts, chicken feet, fish heads, pork blood, all on display. The store is always packed and chaotic since Asian people are very pushy and don't know how to wait in lines nor have any knowledge of personal space (I can say this since I am Asian, and resemble these very qualities). But the produce and meat is probably the freshest and cheapest you'll get in town. I've been able to buy my produce for a week for less than fifteen dollars. You just have to be able to stomach the potent smell and the potential surprise of finding a full carcass when you open your meat package. (hehehe I said meat package).



Presentation: Twin  Photo credit: T

This is bowl number seven served from my pot of pho brewed from that unfortunate brown hen with still more bowls to be served. I was able to feed seven people for under twenty five dollars including a greedy, ravenous, and fat mouthed T!

Its an Epidemic!

Krazy-Kim and her niece, burden Stavvy (who took photo) by introducing her to Brooklyn.  

That less deafening tone in the air is occurring because there is one less thunderous, booming, tick-tocking womb as Krazy-Kim said, "F*ck it!" and got herself a dog to nurture. Brooklyn is a female Boxer that Krazy-Kim rescued from a shelter. "sniff".

I want a Pug.

Glee Recap: Furt

Journey
By California Kara

Amid the hype of Carol Burnett's stellar turn as Sue Sylvester's Nazi-hunting mom and Burt and Carol's nuptials, the true star of "Furt" was a journey. No, not the band they had so much fun poking at Will Schuester's expense last week. ("Come on guys, there has to be a Journey song we haven't done yet.")


Furt in Just the Way You Are.

I'm talking about the dual journey Finn and Kurt went on which, in 'shipper land, is shortened to Furt. (It's the rather annoying trend of mashing together the names of two people who are involved, or who you want to get together. For the 3 of you who still don't get it, let me do the math: Brad + Angelina = Brangelina.)



Quietly, and poignantly, we watched Finn go from self-serving reasons for helping Kurt in his fight against Karofsky to dancing with him at the reception. In the beginning, he only wanted a perfectly scripted scenario in which he helped Kurt so he could look like a leader. Time and again, from Glee club to Kurt's dad, people asked Finn where he was throughout this whole bullying scenario. I nodded in agreement when Rachel railed him: "I've never been so disappointed in you before."

At the same time, we witnessed Kurt's heartbreaking descent from helpless victim to uber-victim. It was inspiring to see all the different folks in Kurt's life rally around him to protect him. I'm thrilled Karofsky's death threat finally bubbled to the surface. If nothing else, it gave the adults on the show a chance to finally act like adults (though, given the nature of the ep, it felt odd the Emma wasn't present). Will acted like a teacher tonight, not a Broadway hottie who's contractually obligated to sing songs in awkwardly placed spots.


The scenes between Will/Kurt and Will/Kurt/Sue were perfect. Absolutely perfect. Looking back over the series – the Figgins blackmail, the handicapable sister, putting Becky on the Cheerios, voting New Directions for first place at Regionals – it was all a set up to get us ready for tonight's Sue. When she delivered her lines in the principal's office, you could see the palpable distaste on her face. She hurt for Kurt, and wasn't going to let him down. While she's generally a thorn in New Directions' side, it can't be said she doesn't protect the underdog, or those who can't protect themselves. (Unlike Michael Vick. Yes, I went there.) So she tendered her resignation to have Kurt's back in the hallways.

Someone dug up Carol Burnett to portray Sue Sylvester's Nazi-hunting mom.

Read More

The Mighty Oprah Performs More Miracles

Wow.

By Awesome Edict

I bring you the Californication season four trailer.

Good Day

When Beefy Met Token

Beefy-Jon is off on a secret mission. After he sent me this picture yesterday I'm starting to wonder if that secret mission is at a Spa. He looks less traumatized and more relaxed now then he did the last few months before he left. BJ is also famous for having the second ugliest feet in San Diego (I have the third) and it looks like he's had a pedicure. Curious. Anyway, while on his secret mission Beefy-Jon has acquired a one year old dog and he's bringing it back with him if he can get approval. He told me, "she's all white with a black patch over one eye. Therefore, her previous owners named her 'Token' for 'Token Black Guy'".

I didn't ask what happened to her previous owners because they were clearly stupid and I'm certain some tragedy befell them. Anyway, he followed up with the photo above and the two are obviously taken with one another. Let's hope he gets clearance or I smell heartbreak (and on the plus side of that, a money-making screenplay, although we'll have to change the dog's name).

Good Day

More Fun With Top Model: Local Edition

Cycle Two (Disclaimer: this post was written hastily and I have no editor so there may be even more grammar and spelling errors than usual)

Our contestants: From l-r, Cal the top, Girl-Alex, Gossipy Kevin, Twin and Brad the Cad

I had so much fun with last week's Top Model: Local Edition that I thought I'd make a return trip to the well with a simultaneous cycle 2 and cycle 3. The winners of each cycle will receive a one year contract with TWL models, worth approximately one buck, and join Marja in an upcoming face-off of the champions. Now let's get on with it.  I snapped the top photo on Friday night, after Twin's burlesque show (more on that rump and cleavage fest tomorrow) with little fanfare. The I said, "Let's take another one and this time let's see who can give the best top model pose."



And with this self-absorbed bunch it got real serious, quick. And although this is over before it even began, let's review the contestants from l-r before awarding first call out.

Cal the Top: Cal is an endangered species known as the attractive gay top. He's also rude, slightly bigoted, says embarrassing and rude things to me in front of other people ("is that the noise you make while getting bottomed?"), and is always angry and complaining about something. Usually about how he's auditioned for American Idol three times without making the final cut . On paper, that is the kind of guy who would have me spread as effortlessly as Miracle Whip but something aint right here because Cal has seen every cycle of Top Model and can name EVERY winner. I suspect frontin' but plan to collect further evidence. Anyway, he brought it above with his subtle look to the left. As Tyra would say, the sadness tells a story.

Girl-Alex: Girl-Alex is called Girl-Alex because one evening months ago, during game night, she and Lex, both drunk beyond reason, teamed up and called themselves "Team Alex". It was every bit as annoying as it sounds. Anyway, she is certainly bringing the sexy above and her legs pop. BUT I wish she'd tilted her head up so she looked more high-fashion than catalogue. Girl-Alex also receives a demerit for passing gas while talking to me. And it was bad. I said, "Alex, Blow up Doll's Aunt Tammy just broke wind before me last week and now you're crop dusting me! Why?" She simply said, "I couldn't hold it and we were in the middle of conversation so I just let it out."

Sigh. I wish I was less interesting.

Gossip Boy: It's a fact, Kevin gossips with his guy friends more than any woman (with the exception of gossipy, gold-digging, Stacy from Monterey) or gay man. They always have some brouhaha going on in their circle because they can't wait to cluck. Now let's review his photo. Oh boy. Instant elimination. You simply weren't ready for this level of competition dear.

Twin:  What a bitch. The moment I turned this into a competition, the highly competitive Twin reached into her bag and pulled out every trick in the book. A sea of limbs and elongated neck, she pops out despite the presence of beef-cake in a bright blue shirt. Clearly going for broke, she is even working those fuzzy slippers as an attention seeking device and somehow it works. This contest was locked up after the flash and there was more suspense about what I'd have for breakfast.

Nick Carter at various sizes. Somewhere in the middle is Brad the Cad.

Brad the Cad: I told you here about the expansion of Brad the Cad. He's a great sport and loves giving me grief about that post but also thanked me for keeping it real. He ballooned because he's been drinking lots of beer for some beer web-site he's launching (yup), but now he's trying to get it back because it is not easy being a cad with extra girth.  In keeping with candor, that photo of him above is HORRIBLE. He looks like a stout Lesbian. He is so much more handsome in person, as a matter of fact when I told him he looked like Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter, he said, "Tell me about it, one time in Mexico at a bar they were convinced I was Nick Carter so all my drinks were comped and they kept sending over prostitutes."

Anyway...congrats Twin. Please leave your acceptance speech in the comments section.

Cycle Three

Perv, Gold-Diggin' Stacy from Monterey, and No Nonsense Laura

Our ex co-worker, Gold Diggin' Stacy from Monterey, blew into town to visit No-Nonsense Laura so NNL made a delicious chicken lasagna on Saturday and had Perv and I over for dinner. We still miss Stacy here at the office. She was, by a landslide, the most fun person to ever work here because she is insane, has a potty mouth, loves to gossip, and cracks jokes about how her big boobs rest a little bit lower each year. Anyway, on with the show!

Perv: Better than expected as he is modeling from head to toe! He's also about the same weight as most female models. Sadly, he is eliminated because he was no match for the women who clearly mean business.

Stacy the Gold Digger: Stacy is  a charter member of the Lex fan club. She's never met him but she follows his exploits on this blog and she had us in stitches over dinner with her..candor and appreciation for his physical appearance. She also has input about his love life ("Keep To Be Determined's name as TBD for now. I'm just not sure if she's right for Lex." HAHAHAHAHHA!). Well, she had a brief opportunity where she could have hired Lex as a pool boy, although her husband Rick may have balked, but Lex's temporary lay-off has come to an end and he is BREAKING NEWS: no longer in the unemployment line (blessed Oprah). Her photo is excellent and she is bringing it! There is only one thing keeping her from getting first call out is...

No Nonsense Laura: She's not to be trifled with. When I said we were going to have a top-model off, NNL was so prepared that she thought I would be taking individual photos of all of them (!!!) but didn't miss a beat when I said "group shot" and showed the others how it is done. With that, TWL has our first "Full Figured" Top Model and we're only on Cycle 3. It took the real Top Model 10 cycles to pull that off!

Please leave your acceptance speech in the comments section NNL.

and Good Day

Defending Dexter: The Show That Needs No Defending.

Exactly

(Disclaimer: The Editor In Chief is on Holiday so this blog may contain even more spelling and grammatical errors than usual) Last week Marja ran a flippant Marja's Box that slandered this season of Dexter. It was unfathomable to me because Dexter is on track to easily finish (spoiler alert) as the #1 show of 2010 on my Best of... list again.  I'm going to be candid...I was so vehemently AGAINST every single thing she had to say in that blog that I actually cringed.  My thinking was the writing staff of Dexter, one of the most creative, surprising, fun and original dramas on television, should be applauded and not lauded for being one of the few shows that is actually "must see" for me. Also, Marja comparing the current Lumen storyline to Season 2's Jimmy Smits storyline was flat out embarrassing and I wanted to distance myself from it.

I thought, "I'll put a disclaimer on it, saying these aren't the opinions of the staff of TWL,"  but after I calmed down I thought, "It's just a TV show," (Rude, when you think about all the effort that people put into this hour and I checked MYSELF to not say that again) so what the hell. Also, since Marja's header was on it, and she doesn't like things much, that TWL readers were smart enough to realize it was what it was and I had nothing to do with it. So, I hit publish and  ran it because, like trail-blazing female, hip-hop rappers, Salt-n-Pepa, baby believes that opinions are like assholes, and every-body's got one.

But it bothered me.

A lot.

So I need to be clear on this.

This season of Dexter has been like anything we've seen on television before as we watch Dexter Morgan, a supposedly unfeeling sociopath, come to grips with the harm that befell his wife, the sweet-spirited Rita, while trying to raise his infant son. That negative review was sitting here on a blog that I started. What if someone connected to Dexter in any way was high on reefer or crack-cocaine and was sitting at home hitting the "next blog" button and saw that sitting here? The thought of it made me extremely uncomfortable.

Dexter's Henley is not quite as snug as it used to be.

So I'd like to give a blog-out to the writers of Dexter, who continue to surprise, delight, and throw curve balls when we least expect it. Even in your supporting story-lines.  Yes,  I questioned you and complained loudly when LaGuarta got soft and married the busted Batista. But, patience has led to quite the pay-off as busted Batista comes to realize he's married to a scheming, greedy bitch (love her!). Do you realize that I almost stood up and cheered when Deb sassed the scheming LaGuarta, after all hell broke loose in a night-club and bullets flew during a botched sting, that she thought LaGuarta marrying Batista would make her a better person but she was WRONG! Holla!

Then I'd like to give a shout out to the actors. Leading man, Michal C. Hall actually kicked cancer's ass and was back in his skin-tight, American Apparel, olive green, long sleeve Henley before we knew anything was wrong. A special shout out to his real life wife and on-screen sis, the expressive Jennifer Henley, who has made foul-mouthed Deb Morgan, into a tough on the outside vulnerable on the inside, "we should do the right thing here," character that is poised to over-take True Blood's Sookie Stackhouse as my favorite heroine on television. Yup. Let that marinate for a minute.

Television's thinnest couple. Quinn and foul-mouthed Deb Morgan. 

Yes, season four's Trinity story-line was epic. John Lithgow was great but let's keep it real, if he was still hanging around, the same people would be bitching that he over-stayed his welcome. Let's move on. And since we have to move on I'm more than happy to move on with Julia Stiles as irreparably damaged Lumen. Haters are quick to jump on the "stilted" bandwagon but she is giving a beautiful, nuanced performance that keeps us guessing.  Furthermore, her surprising, didn't see that coming, introduction to the series was far better than anything I could EVER have written on the best, most creative day of my life.

I routinely knock shows that people are passionate about (Grey's Anatomy anyone? The last gasp of Entourage. The final two episodes of Lost which I thought defined dreckitude) so I'll simply tell the whiners the same thing that endearing fans should have told me, "Oh you don't like it? That's nice dear. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, however dumb. Now, please take caution not to let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!"

I feel better now. Good Day.

Oprah Bestows Gifts and Crowd Loses Sh*t

Oprah's Favorite Things 2010
Uploaded by TheDlisted. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

After a glorious fake out, composure takes a holiday as the crowd realizes they are in on Oprah's very last Favorite Things segment. The now classic Saturday Night Live spoof seems almost tame in comparison.

I would have given my left nut to be in that audience.

Update: Here's a link to all the booty they received.

Gingerbreadmama's Gossip Wrap: Reconciliation & Britney Edition

A weekly round-up highlighting entertainment tidbits, nicely wrapped in a fluffy little bow.

Reconciliation

Eight years after their divorce, Mama and Papa Spears are dating. According to one source, "They are back together and are doing well and happy."

Hey, here's a thought…maybe if they had worked on their marriage years ago their kids wouldn't be the poster children for teen pregnancy and court-ordered conservatorship – you know, where you actually lose the legal right to run your own life – just sayin'.

And a break-up

Three years of apparently not-so-wedded bliss was enough. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are over. Citing "irreconcilable differences", she filed for divorce this week and rumor has it he did too (in Texas). They have a pre-nup so hopefully it won't be messy but what on earth is she going to do about all those tattoos? The nine on the back of her neck is fairly large, and she reportedly has his initials in an intimate girly spot. Then there is the one on her wrist that looks like a date. If it's significant to them as a couple, she may just be spending part of her spousal support on laser removal.See the photos here.

 

And a baby

Pink and husband Carey Hart are going to be parents. Pink confirmed to Ellen that they had been trying and that her mom hopes it is a girl. "My mom has always wished me a daughter just like me," Pink, "I'm terrified one of us will go to jail."

"Terrified one of us will go to jail" and pregnant with first child are two thoughts that do not belong together. Hopefully the couple will sign up for parenting classes on their own, before they become court-mandated.

The not-so-amazing race (to the alter)

Coincidence my a$$! Nick Lachey pops the question to his girlfriend of over FOUR years and a week later Jessica Simpson announces her engagement to her beau of 10 minutes six months (and bonus; he's only been divorced for a few months) and claims that it is just a coincidence. Sorry, not buying it. Call me cynical but I just cannot believe that her Mr. Right Now is really her Mr. Right, forever and ever.

Glee-rific (spoilerish)

Well Merry Merry! The December 7 episode of Glee will be another Britney-centric one. Apparently, she still believes in Santa Claus and the gleeks do their best to keep that notion alive, while Sue does her best to scrooge with her.

Casting news
Bill Clinton will play himself in The Hangover 2.

Sexy guy 
People magazine announced that Ryan Reynolds is this year's Sexiest Man Alive. Nice. Have you seen him with his shirt off? Well…uh…sorry, what was I saying? I was distracted by the abs.

Quote of the week 
Allegedly Dina Lohan had this to say, "Shame on them," to the Glee bigwigs, after Gwyneth P as the substitute teacher made reference (in Spanish) to Lindsey being crazy and in rehab.

Movies opening this weekend
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
The Next Three Days
Heartless (Limited)
Made in Dagenham (Limited)
Today's Special (Limited)
White Material (Limited)