It's winter so I've decided to take on a lover, a T-bone Steak. Sad but true fact: Usually after I'm safely out of vulnerable time* I start day-dreaming about sex but for the last two days I've been daydreaming about a different kind of meat, the beautiful, juicy steak you see above. It was so good I actually picked it up, after I'd cut as much meat as I could from the bone, and began to bite the bone, suck the flavor from the fat and tongue-wrestle the corners in heated desperation, trying to extricate even the smallest bit of remaining meat. I would forsake Oprah herself if I could lay with it, get it pregnant, and then marry it.
|Not what you think|
Just like good sex, clothing can be compromised by too juicy a steak. As I grappled with the bone the juices and spices from the steak spilled over the edge of my plate and soaked my (cute) maroon, Adidas sweat-pants. But I didn't care, I would have sacrificed these and a thousand more for one more bite of that glorious steak.
Now excuse me, I'm flushed and need a cigarette.
In closing I'd like to caution you to...
|I certainly try, despite my beta ways|