Things To Do Over the 3 Day Weekend

Hope that this is not a sign of the Apocalypse


(I originally was going to write more things to do over the three day weekend, like purchasing a Cluck-Guard, to drown out all the cluckin',  if you are going to the movies because that abominable Sex and the City 2  is opening, but I'm too saddened by the passing of Gary Coleman to continue. I didn't know him but he'd been in pop culture for so many years that I felt like he was my troubled friend.)

Good Weekend

Watch Gossip Girl? You're About the Only One....

Another Question that was answered for me today was "What are the 5 lowest rated regularly scheduled scripted television shows?"

The Answers (the numbers are average total viewers per episode)

118 ONE TREE HILL CW 2,255,000

119 GOSSIP GIRL CW 2,143,000

120 90210 CW 1,725,000

121 MELROSE PLACE CW 1,223,000

122 BEAUTIFUL LIFE CW 1,214,000

Wow. More people are still watching old as dirt One Tree Hill than Gossip Girl or 90210.
 
Since the two lowest shows, Beautiful Life and Melrose Place, have been cancelled. 90210 and Gossip Girl are currently the two lowest rated scripted shows on television. You can take a look at the final yearly Nielsen ratings for all shows here.
 

and with that.... Good Day

Bon Temps:Highest Vampire Gym Membership Per Capita

Rakish rouge Eric tricked Sookie into drinking his blood.

 Remember when sneaky Eric the vampire tricked my beloved telepathic waitress, Sookie, into sucking silver bullets out of his chest? Thus, she ingested his vampire blood which led to her having sexual fantasies about Eric, despite her love for Bill. Tricky Eric knew this would happen and is happy about it because he’s been wanting to put the vampyre pork to Sookie for some time.

BAM! Now she's hitting the gym and fantasizing about him.

Bill the Vampire and Sam the Shape-Shifter have never been close.

Now this is exciting. Although Bill the Vampire and Sam the shape-shifter have never liked each other because they were rivals for Sookie’s affections; Sam was mortally wounded on last season’s final episode, after mean-spirited MaryAnn the Maenad stabbed him in the heart, so he was forced to drink Bill’s blood in order to survive. Do you know where this is heading?

Now after Sam had a sip of  Bill's vampire blood: Dueling Man Chest! My favorite!

Yup. A confused Sam’s going to start fantasizing about Bill! I could cry. That reminds me…I’m all outta lotion and tissue.

Off to the market!

Our Ranking? # 4,815,162,342 in Daily Hits

No. 13

Head on over to The Huffington Post and check out Googles 13 Most Visited Web-Sites on the net, pictorial. I thought it thrilling. The #1 entry proves that Larry from Engineering was right when he told me that all of you have become a bunch of self-possessed, creepy voyeurs that need more to do.

Scat!

We've got some exciting things going on in the world of TWL so I thought I'd pop online for a minute, while my engine is revving from all the stimulation, to share some of the behind the scenes outrageousness with you!

Staff is key in producing a successful blog and ever since the public termination of Beefy-Jon things have taken a turn for the better around here. Our new Music, Arts, and Entertainment correspondent, Marja, is out this week while we move her from the Red Wine, Rants, and Rambling cubical to her new spacious window office at TWL headquarters. As you saw last week, we've filled the Electronics Correspondent spot and will soon have cutting edge reviews and commentary about everything you'd want to know in the personal electronics world. For those of you who might find that a tad dry, I got you covered as well. We've started running blogs from our resident existentialist, black p***y f*cking up, panty droppin', Emo. With this, we add something new to the mix we've never had before, a cutting edge scenester with a broad appeal across many demographics that may not have found a home at TWL before. If this wasn't enough, we'll also be announcing another key staff addition, I can't say who yet, but this person is an authentic hipster who will leave an immediate and lasting mark on TWL for years come.

I'm also working on reviving a few favorite segments from the past like "5 Questions with T' and "Outrageous Local Gossip." There has been a lot going on in the world of TWL power couples and pending some key approvals, I'd like to get you all up to speed as well. Please keep your comments coming in, both public and private. We'll open up the mailbag again soon and share some of the private feedback we've been receiving lately. Also, we'll all be off Monday May 31st for the holiday, but June will be an exciting month for the blog so keep your finger on the refresh button and in the interim occupy yourself here.

-The Editor in Chief

Simon's Swan Song

I whined here about why I bailed on American Idol earlier this season after nine years. Although I jumped ship early, I wanted to return for the finale, to give Simon a proper send-off, but I forgot. Oh well! I read the various re-caps and poached these photos from MSN and I am satiated and ready to let go just like the Lost castaways in that dumb finale.

Anyway, besides Simon's swan song,  they also crowned a winner. Yet again, a white guy rocker with a guitar won Idol. How refreshing. That would make it only three years in a row! If they were going to reward the title to white guy rocker with a guitar couldn't they have at least given it to the more blowable one? I forget his name but he came in third and Kara Dioguardi led the long line (I was in it too) of those clamoring to sit on his face. At least he was distinguishable from the past two winners.

I was going to do a photo parade with commentary but got stopped dead in my tracks by a needy co-worker. Here's what I had so far:

The two most successful Idol winners sandwich Reuben Stoddard. At least Reuben has had a better career than Taylor Hicks 

Janet Jackson on good end of yo-yo dieting

Past Idol winners and two contestants that did not win, on the right, bid Simon adieu

Good Day

The Damaged Heiress

Hi, Emo here with my second regular column. Originally I was going to review the awesome Minus The Bear show at Soma* or talk about the film MacGruber, but I've been talking about the Minus the Bear show all week and my plans to see MacGruber fell through.  The Editor In Chief suggested I blog about "the joys of black p****" but T thought  that was a really really bad idea and for once, I agree with him.

So all I'm left with is this video of The Damaged Heiress (working title: The Nightmare Downstairs). I met The Damaged Heiress while I was sharing a beer with my downstairs neighbor. After a few she started talking about her background and turns out she's from a decent family here in San Diego (info the downstairs neighbor later confirmed).

For reference purposes, I'll tell you that my downstairs neighbor is an interesting dude (well, he's loud and obnoxious drunk and talks about wanting to have sex with corpses, which led to another one of our neighbors running a background check on him). T simply says, "I can't focus on him wanting to hump corpses or how stupid he is. It hurts my feelings too much just to look at him. He is so ugly he makes Shrek look hot."   Another neighbor gossiped, "Do you see the women that this guy brings home? They are usually too drunk to stand on their own and then they make a B-line outta that place the next morning when they sober up." With all this in mind, I was f***ing stunned that The Damaged Heiress was not only standing on her own but aggressively trying to put a hex on the downstairs neighbor so she could have sex with him. Crazy.  When I told T, he said "She's a feral mess. She's just acting out, rebelling and trying to drive her family insane by copulating with dregs of society like the necrophilia lovin' downstairs neighbor! Or maybe, just maybe, she just really likes ugly drunk men. Wouldnt' be the first time!"

Later!


*It would take a band as awesome as Minus the Bear or Strung Out to get me to set foot in "all-ages" Soma ever again. No one should be forced to deal with annoying teenagers while sober. If one more high school senior asked me if I had any pot I would have punched him in the face.

What's New Pussycat? This Trophy Bitch!

Nicole and her sweet, lesbian dance partner relish their victory.

Hot on the heels of all the bitching about the Lost finale; the message boards have erupted with suburban house-wife fury now that my beloved Pussycat Doll, Nicole Scherzinger, boom-boom-boomed her way to that ugly first place finishing trophy on Dancing With the Stars!  To all those bitter Dancing fans that are ticked because a sex-pot, attention starved, professional dancer triumphed over Olympian, Evan Lysacek, (not to mention Chad Ochocinco, Pam Anderson and Kate Gosslein) all I have to say is...HAHAHAHHAHAHA! Good! That's what you get for driving me away from this show for good after you awarded that ugly trophy to that midget Olympian, Shawn Johnson, over hunky Gilles Marini last year. It was an outrage that has finally been corrected so you can suck on this karmic justice!

Bonus Blogging: Buzz!

One of the "Stars" that was crushed under one of Nicole's stiletto was legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin! Why a man that has allegedly been to the moon and seen such wondrous things in space would want to compete on Dancing With the Stars is beyond me but there he was. Now his legacy is tainted by the fact that he was voted off before Pam Anderson and Kate Gosslein. At least he outlasted Shannen Doherty.




That's nothing compared to the indignity of his Monday Night Raw appearances for the WWE. The sight of him getting knocked out by Precious, in the commercial above, is alarming. Not a good idea as he was soundly mocked on The Soup. Maybe this bad decision making is a delayed reaction from all the the deadly radiation that bombarded him when he allegedly re-entered our atmosphere after lolly-gagging on the moon. Or perhaps its simply senility? Who knows?



One thing I do know is that Buzz doesn't take kindly to any sass. Remember the incident in this video when some poor fool dared to question Buzz about the legitimacy of the moon landing and was promptly fed an octogenarian knuckle sandwich for his efforts? I sure do. Unlike that dummy, I don't want a loose tooth.  So...

Good Day!

Shopping Spree Of Global Variety Launched

Revolutionary "shop with friends"' pioneer, Sesh, has partnered with NOVICA and National Geographic to bring you a contest on Facebook where you could win a $500 gift certificate.

Check out all the hullabaloo here and tell your friends.

I'm Over It, But This is Still Good

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Guess what? Now that I actually understand the ending...I hate it even more!  HA!

Good Day

And If Someone Runs Into Philandering Fernando Please Pass This on to Him!

 

GQ has a photo essay entitled,  Doing It for the People: The 25 Greatest Philanderers in American Political History, and I thought it fun thanks to entries like this one:


13. Gary Hart- Laughably Self-Destructive Candidate
The person Washingtonians picture when they think of hubris. Basically dared reporters to prove he was having an affair in 1984, and then, hey, they did! And from then on, no one in Washington asked for proof of anything—except if Hart had actually been a passenger on a yacht called Monkey Business when a photographer snapped the incriminating picture that ruined his career. Because, man, twenty-plus years later and that's still hard to believe.

...and just look at some of these fun labels

10. Warren Harding- Epically Terrible and Extremely Horny President

 9. Alexander Hamilton- Duelist, Philanderer, Founding Father

 5. Alice Roosevelt Longworth and Nick Longworth- Republican Superfreaks


Join me in judgemental chortling and pompous chuckling by reading the article here.

In the interest of freshness; I was going to put this hilarious, TA-TA, Tyra! video up yesterday but I was too much of a wreck.

Yes this is yet another True Blood trailer. But before you open your fat mouth to accuse me of being on HBO's payroll, you'll notice this one is different because it features Sookie in her undergarments.

Love Loss Lost

The creators of  Lost bid us farewell

Well that was interesting. Six seasons came down to a whole lotta nothin. I just wished I'd listened to all the people that correctly guessed, since season one, that none of it mattered since everyone was dead dead dead. AHHAHAHA. You must admit it's pretty funny how we spent the last six years hypothesizing about mean-spirited Smoke Monsters and blood-thirsty Polar Bears when the entire time the creators were thinking, "We don't have to answer sh*t! They're all dead!"

Oh well. I've already changed the Dharma Goose background on my cell phone and (this is particularly uncharacteristic) have decided not to make a racially charged stink about the absence of Michael and Walt at the pearly gates.

I come from the streets, so I'm familiar with hardships and disappointment and once I shake off this Scotch fueled hangover I’m suffering (it’s not pretty) I’ll be just fine. I can tell it won’t be that easy for everyone as evidenced by the long and somewhat angry faces of Emo and Beefy-Jon, at episodes conclusion, and the “Are you f*cking kidding me?” grumbling that followed. Some people just aren’t big on getting bamboozled and then given the bird. Like the doomed passengers of Oceanic 815, I can tell they may have a little trouble "letting go".

Good Day

Now THAT's an Invitation

Sent in by Marja. No we don't know anyone this cool so it wasn't to us.

Madge, Forgive Me

But I thought this was just too interesting not to share.

Baby Had A Little Lamb

So juicy I wanted some mo.

Burden of the Blackberry in: Phone Foibles

As much as I love my Blackberry it has caused me great embarrassment recently. Here are two examples suitable for posting.

1) My Blackberry Facebook app’s “Like” button is much too close to the “More” button. This has led to me clicking “Like” on Facebook entries from random friends that I haven’t spoken to in ages (I can imagine they were thinking “what the f*ck?”) or, even worse, clicking “Like” when it wasn’t really appropriate after someone posted something grim. Although I cringed in slight embarrassment, I was ok with that because I thought it rude to post something so grim in the first place. But then, one day I went to hit “More” while I was stalking someone that I stalk on an almost daily basis, for the sole purpose of making fun of his irritating updates, which vacillate between dumb pseudo intellectual life-affirming quotes and simple, gut churning, white-guy toolism. I then marvel at how he’s managed to assemble a legion of “Yes Men and Women” who only leave chirpy and positive comments on his dumb updates!! Furthermore, I get so riled up over this rampant buffoonery that I’m forced to ask myself  “Why?” and as Twin, who mocks his updates daily as well, put it so succinctly, “Since he has so many followers, have you ever thought that maybe we’re the ones with the problem?” Anyway, I’ve managed to resist leaving, “No one cares!” or “Can’t you people see he’s a moron?” comments, but then one day my Blackberry betrayed me…riled up and intent on getting to the next page, I “Liked” an update that was particularly dumb. Here’s the rub, you can’t take away the "Like" using the Blackberry app. So I had to scramble to a desktop computer, sign on, and delete the “Like”. I think the whole process took 3 minutes. Still, since he’s a constant updater I’m forced to face a simple fact….HE KNOWS.

2) My good friend Bill, who’ve I’ve known since my college days, lives in San Francisco with his boyfriend, Patrice, a Frenchman that I’ve known for about 5 years now. Thanks to me placing my Blackberry phone in my pocket without the key lock feature engaged, poor Patrice has been getting random calls from me at random times and only the good Oprah knows what he’s heard. Since I haven’t called Patrice in years, I was shocked when I went to my call log and saw that the Blackberry had dialed Patrice more than once. Embarrassed, I called Bill and Patrice to apologize and told them I was dealing with a new phone and it wouldn’t happen again. And no, before you even think such foolishness, Bill would not even begin to question if I was calling his boyfriend to breathe heavily into the phone or tempt him with sex.  Like I said, Bill has known me for years and since Patrice is an extremely kind-hearted, sweet-spirited little fella that clocks in at around 5'8', and thus unable to inflict any psychological or physical harm upon me, I’d have no interest.  Anyway, I remembered to put on the key-lock for about a month and then Patrice's random calls resumed. I was over it so I figured he'd just have to deal. Then one day, much to my horror, my phone was in my pocket while I was clucking it up with Marja, Twin and Bobble. Poor Patrice was dialed repeatedly with one call lasting a whopping SIX minutes in length of Marja’s nasally whine, Bobble’s pessimism, and Twin’s irritant squeak. NO ONE deserves that kind of torture. As I was looking at the call log and cursing the Blackberry, it rang and flashed Patrice's name. I was too scared to answer as I was certain he was calling to cuss me out and I was feeling sensitive. I still haven't spoken with him but at least I'm remembering to lock my phone.

Good Day.

How much fun was this? I'll have to get some blogs up after another go round.

Drivel Interrupted: A Very Special 'All Eyes On Me'

About a month and a half ago I went on a trip to Cambodia with my dearest BFF forever Yasmin. Although this blog is lacking the validity and steam it could have provided had I written earlier, there is still time to make a difference. Being the blogs known narcissist and self absorbed queen, it isn’t a surprise that Yasmin also lives by the same philosophy. But during our trip to Cambodia we learned that there are moments where you have to put the mirror, the lipstick and the high heels down and focus on things more important than how your hair looks, and who’s looking at us.

All our lives we’ve looked for ways we could resemble Angelina Jolie, but in turn that will never happen so we settled with just following in her philanthropic pursuits. We spent a substantial amount of times in a couple of Cambodia’s orphanages, and saw living conditions from meager to down right astoundingly poor. This was not a scene out of Annie, and these children weren’t getting rescued by Daddy Warbucks. In fact fifty percent of Cambodia is below the age of 18; therefore most of these children will never find a home and won’t live past the ages of 21 due to malnourishment, sickness, or gang violence.

So as you view photos of these kids and watch the videos hopefully I can pull at your heart strings enough to extort money from you fellow blog readers to donate money to these orphanages.

This is the first orphanage we volunteered at called Cambodian Children’s House of Peace. Here the kids are between 10-17. This particular orphanage had an American director and a well trained staff of Americans and English speaking Cambodians. Although there is a lot of competition for attention from these orphanages this one seemed to have decent funding. You can visit their website at http://www.santepheap.org/

Here is the second orphanage called PACDOC which we spent most of our volunteer time. We found this one while visiting the provinces. The kids here range from 2-17 and the staff consists of an older Cambodian man, and an assistant who speak minimal English.

Here is the kitchen. While all of Southeast Asia has been slowly progressing to western standards of hygiene, Cambodia remains in the red zone of progress. A huge percentage of deaths are because of lack of sanitation and often dysentery.

Here is the sleeping area for the twenty-two boys in this orphanage. After donating money, we learned that our money would go to the construction of the fourth wall of this room.

Don’t you want to take one home with you!!!!

I absolutely love this photo. Although I know these children turned on the charm in hopes of finding a new life with either one of us, they were all so sweet and fun.

(Twin Jolie-Pitt is having trouble working the video. It will be posted soon)

Ok if this blog didn’t evoke any kind of itch for philanthropy then this video will. You might hear me blubbering in the background as they sing “If Your Happy and You Know It”. And now here is my Sally Struthers moment…. If you want to contribute in any way, or if you ever plan on visiting Cambodia and want to spend some time with great kids that can use a lot of your help you can find PACDOC’s information at http://www.pacdoc.org/.

Hole is Filled

This letter confirms that www.teawithlemon.com (herein referred to as TWL) has hired you as its Electronic's Correspondent, reporting directly to the Editor in Chief. We trust that your knowledge, skills and experience will be among our most valuable assets. In consideration thereto, you agree to be employed under the following terms and conditions:

1. You agree to provide intelligible content and use your best efforts while rendering services for TWL. As our Electronic Correspondent you will be responsible for:

• Timely and relevant articles pertaining to electronics including, but not limited to, console and portable gaming systems. televisions and other media content delivery systems, mobile computing and telephony, home and office computer and entertainment systems, portable music and video players, and satellite and terrestrial radio systems.

• Personal perspective is an important component to the content on TWL, as a correspondent you are expected to provide considerable context to the subjects you write about. This goes above and beyond simple fact-based reporting.

• A minimum of 26 blog submissions annually.. Although this is a base requirement, you are expected submit content as frequently current electronics consumer trends dictate. Please use your personal discretion and keep TWL's interests in mind at all times.

2. You will make no representations, warranties, or commitments binding the TWL without our prior consent nor do you have any authority to sign any documents or enter into any contracts on TWL's behalf.

3. TWL MAY TERMINATE YOUR ASSIGNMENT AT ANY TIME, WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE, WITH OR WITHOUT CAUSE.

4. You agree and represent that you owe TWL the highest duty of loyalty. This means that you will treat TWL staff members with respect and will protect TWL reputation at all times.

5. While participating as an active staff member of TWL, you will not directly or indirectly, own an interest in, operate, control, or be connected as an employee, agent, independent contractor, partner, shareholder or principal in any company which markets products, goods or services which directly or indirectly compete with TWL.

6. There shall be no change, amendment or modification of this Agreement unless it is reduced to writing and signed by both parties. This Agreement cancels and supersedes all prior agreements and understandings. Oral agreements and/or discussions are not binding.

7. The position has no monetary compensation, however after a 90 day probationary period you will be entitled to all perks and benefits afforded to regular TWL staff members. This includes, but is not limited to, the following:

• An invite to the annual TWL Staff Holiday party. This exclusive event is held annually in December. Attendance is contingent on being a regular staff member in good standing at the time of the party. Further details will come later in the year from the Editor in Chief
• Use of your title and position of TWL for personal promotion. You may use this position on your resume, and can now "name drop" TWL to impress all your friends and family.
• Regular IM communication with the blog author.

8. During the course of your assignment there may be disclosed to you certain trade secrets or other confidential information pertaining to TWL. At no time prior, during, or after your assignment may such information be shared with anyone outside of TWL regular staff. Failure to adhere to the above will result in a serious and likely violent power bottoming from select TWL staff.

Sincerely yours,

The Editor in Chief
http://www.teawithlemon.com/

HNB looks over, and eventually accepts, the contract.

Hipsters Flock to Humphrey’s for Concert n Cluckin'

I was all prepared to write a great Broken Bells concert review, but sadly I spent most of the gig last night sizing up the fipster* behind me with the Bettie Page haircut and wondering if I could take her in a fight that would certainly result from my turning around and sneering, “Would you please shut the f**k up already!” That’s the thing about hipsters, if there’s one thing they love more than Pabst Blue Ribbon, vintage Ray Bans, and French cinema, it’s hearing their own voice. I knew I was doomed from the start when fipster’s flaming gay porkpie-hat-wearin’ friend turned to her and asked, “What band is that guy in again?”

“That guy” is James Mercer of The Shins, and he makes up one half of the indie super-duo Broken Bells with Brian “Dangermouse” Burton, producer de jour for the alternative set. Burton has been very busy stirring the music pot since the release of his unauthorized The Grey Album, - a mash-up up Jay-Z accapellas and Beatles instrumentals - working with Beck, Gorillaz, MFDOOM, Gnarls Barkley, Iggy Pop, Julian Casablancas, and the recently deceased Mark Linkus of Sparklehorse fame.

But back to Miss Wanna-Be Page, who incessantly talked through the whole Broken Bells set and at one point noted (to no one in particular), “We could just be at home listening to this in my bedroom and it would be the same thing.”

Yes. Yes you should have.

But then you would have missed Mercer’s Kings of Leon-esque cover of the 1960’s classic “Crimson and Clover” and Burton’s funkadelic touch on Bell’s “The Mall & Misery” which has never once made me think “dance track”, until I saw it rocked out live. At a little under 50 minutes, Broken Bell’s set was short and sweet and left one concert goer bemoaning, “I paid $68 for that??!”, but sometimes it’s quality not quantity that you’re paying for, and Mercer’s melodic voice is a rarity in the auto-tuned generation and reminds you why Natalie Portman quipped in Garden State, “It’ll change your life. I swear.”

Since this was my first assignment as the newly anointed TWL's “Music & Arts Correspondent” I had hoped to wow with some contraband video footage from the camera I snuck into Humphrey’s, unfortunately I ended up with the bass-distorted mess here. Enjoy the first 40 seconds, then run for cover.

Album: Broken Bells
Release Date: March 9, 2010
Genre: Indie, Alternative, Folk Pop
Sounds Like: The Shins singing over Gorillaz tracks
Standouts: “The High Road”, “Vaporize”, “Mongrel Heart”
Good For: Chilling at home, on a road trip, background music, first dates, smoking American Spirits
Not Good For: Alpha males or throw downs

3.5 out of 5 stars

*A “fipster” is a faux-Hipster. They wear ironic headgear, sip cocktails at El Camino, and quote Wes Anderson flicks, but at the end of the day they jump into their VW Jetta’s and rush home to catch American Idol while enjoying a Spanish Malbec from CostCo.

I DIED for 'What They Died For'

Jack waking up for what I fear may be one to the last times!

SPOILERS! 

This week's episode of Lost, 'What They Died For', was every bit as fun as last weeks episode was dreary and it washed the taste of bad wigs, cheesy special effects, and misguided attempts at Shakespearean emoting right of my mouth. There was just so much goodness here:

I relished the return of sneaky, sniveling, untrustworthy,  "who's side is he on?"  Ben. He did every thing but twirl a mustache as he ratted out Charles Widmore and then pumped lead into his gut.  I burst out laughing when Smoky/Locke bum-rushed Richard Alpert and sent him flying, then calmly walked out to a seated Ben, who proceeded to offer him lemonade. I did stop chuckling long enough to cringe when the Liz Lemon look-a-like, Zoe, had her throat slit by mean-spirited Locke/Smoky (as much as that character annoyed me, I wish her offing hadn't been so needlessly graphic).

Hurley, the "Not Ready" Ana Lucia and Trickster Desmond

And how much fun has this trickster Desmond become? When he wasn't pulling  "Found your dead dad's body!"  pranks on Jack, Claire, and Jack's son (who was clearly revealed to be the sideways Vincent), he was socking the stuffing out of, while simultaneously  knocking some sense into, his favorite punching bag, Ben, or being condescending to the sideways world, Ana Lucia ("She's not ready").  

Fun Fun Fun. I can't wait for Sunday and I'm getting my Kleenex at the ready because I'm fearful something bad is going to happen to Jack and his good bone structure. That transition into the new Jacob, after a few sips of dirty water, seemed a little too easy. I also know Ben has something fun planned, thanks to that Walkie-Talkie business, and has not really flip-flopped back onto Smoky's side.

A Lost screen-saver I poached from some other site. Posted here, as a courtesy.

In honor of the fallen Lost characters and that dumb dead bird that Emo exploited for his first column, be sure to check out Entertainment Weekly's 30 Key Lost Death's.

Good Day

End of an Era

In anticipation of tonight's last ever first-run Tuesday night episode of Lost (I'm ready. It's time), I bring you Locke/Smoke Monster as interpreted by Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson is, of course, the tabloid staple that used to be married to the gorgeous Dita Von Teese until he started sleeping with the gorgeous Evan Rachel Wood. His real name is Brian Warner and I think he used to make music or something too.

Columnist Debut in Avant-Garde Preview

Shattered Glass

Shattered Skull

Shat itself. The final indignity.

This dead bird photo essay by our new columnist, Emo.

The first of a new kind of TWL column debuts next week as Emo arrives with gritty photo essays, musings on post-modernism, counter-culture, indie-music, this golden age of television, Japanese anime and "other sh*t that's f*cking cool."

Watch this space as we announce our brand new Electronics Correspondent tomorrow.