I've barely time to tell you I don't have time to blog.

I'll catch you on Friday! I'll finally make good on all the back-blogs (I'm not near done with Best of 2008, I've still got to anoint Best Hunk, Most Shocking Break-up, and Best Sex-Bomb), and debut the new Tea With Lemon logo (pending approval from our Editor in Chief, who is taking a vacation day today).

Happy New Year!

BEHOLD: Courtesy Flush

Look, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't used it myself, but after Christmas dinner, I was heading to the downstairs bathroom at C.J.'s (which is baby Reid's little bathroom) when she balked, "Where are you going? I know dat look on your face! Oh Lawd please don't go down there and blow up my baby's bathroom! Take this!" and she handed me a tiny bottle that I initially thought were eye-drops! I said, "What will this tiny thing do do?" She said, "It's called Courtesy Flush, Trust me, just put a couple of drops in!" Without going into too much detail, I'll just tell you that it WORKS! I'm ordering a bottle to place in the bathroom here at work, where it's needed, and hopefully no one runs off with it! I'm also getting some for D3, back in the day we called him "Hiroshima"

Good Day!

In Remembrance: CJ's Holiday Ham

Succulent and smoky, it made the burdensome trip to Hollywood Hills more than worth it (C.J. reserved me for Christmas, WAY BACK IN MARCH! So if the main dish was anything less than spectacular, I may have bitched!). It also made up for the somewhat lackluster macaroni and cheese dish (The only mis-step in an almost perfect dinner. It was very good, but missing that certain “oomph”. When one serves superior ham and turkey so juicy one might initially mistake it for chicken, then the side dishes, like the Mac-n-Cheese must absolutely “pop” or risk being labeled as bland).

But let's not quibble over Macaroni when the day (translation: meal) was so nice. Instead, let's catch up with C.J., one of my best friends who also happens to be the black lady that had the white baby.

C.J. (preggers, in white), debuted her baby-bump and her new Carol Brady hairstyle. C.J.'s mom, Momma Carol, is a diva that refuses to age. She shared stories of her recent vacation to the South of France and London and how men that are even younger than her daughter still hit on her. She also wants my blog address, but I won't give it to her becasuse she got angry over something offensive I wrote when C.J. was previously knocked up. I don't remember what it was but I'm sure it was rude.

Well, she's knocked up again. Thoroughly unplanned (I won't share C.J.'s birth control tips as they are antiquated. Let's just say many a high-schooler has been knocked up by believing this actually works, when evidently IT DOES NOT!), C.J. deliberately kept this "surprise" from me until I saw her. At first I thought, "She looks hefty!" and asked, "What's this?" while rubbing her belly. She spat, "I'm pregnant fool!" Later, when C.J.'s mom Carol arrived, she took her bright red, at least 5 inch long fingernails, felt around my jowl and said, in her Jamaican accent, “What is all dis? Ooooh, you're gettin so fat!" It's a fact; anything said in a Jamaican accent is much funnier.

Adorable advisory in full effect! Here's Reid. the pigment is coming in a bit a he ages.

I applaud C.J., and all parents, for procreating and raising brats, as someone has to do it. I always thought I would adopt a needy child, but I would be an awful parent (translation: they would be a burden). I spent 15 minutes playing with plastic dinosaurs, to entertain Reid, and was so exhausted afterwards I needed a cat-nap. After gasping, "Ok Reid, that's enough play-time for today”, I asked C.J., "Does he ever tire?" She shot back, in her Jamaican accent, "No! Why do you think I work when I don't have to? He rip and run all day! Thank goodness his daddy is patient and a hands on father!”

In this video clip, bad children run amok (C.J. calls them "BeBe's kids") as sweet, London export, Tom, tries to control his son, James. Tom and his wife have adopted two black babies in the past 6 years, before Brad, Angelina and Madonna made it cool. Still, his oldest is a holy terror and every baby-sitters nightmare! Count how many times you hear "James" in this clip. Tom spilled, "We never seem to get invited to the same place twice (due to their unruly children)”. Sadly, C.J. confirmed, upon their exit, "Whew dem kids bad. I'll never have dem over again!"

Good Day.

Happy Holiday Intermission

Princess Diana (Wonder Woman), amazon warrior and ambassador of Themyscira (Paradise Island)

Sorry kids, ran out of time. All the yackety yack I promised yesterday about a special Christmas Eve edition of Tea W/Lemon was simply dust in the wind. I was done in by time, a vacationing Editor in Chief, and our on-point company pot-luck. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get to spreading holiday cheek, so I'll see you next week!


Good Day and Happy Holiday


Elektra Natchios, Ninja assasin and inspiration for a really crappy film starring Jennifer Garner.

Choosy Seals Choose...

Leblon as their choice liquor beverage. Its mature, yet manly, when consumed without muddling or the fuss of fruit.

(Disclaimer: Tea W/Lemon does not endorse the use of heavy artillery while hopped up on spirits. Please rumble responsibly. Tea W/Lemon would endorse a discrete coupling and role-playing session with the fella all the way to the right in this photo, so send him this way when his tour has ended. No one needs to ask, no one has to tell.)

I Love This Monkey!

And I want one for Christmas.

Uh...I Meant Tomorrow, Tomorrow

I had every intention of telling you about the senses shattering event that spurred all the reactions here, as well as the photo above. But Yoga took everything out of me today (I'm just grateful to be alive) so I, like Mik above, must give you the bird and tell you to come back tomorrow for a special Christmas Eve edition of Tea W/Lemon, where I'll show you photos from our company holiday party and award Best Of 2008: Favorite Hunk.

Good Day.

Wanna See Something Really Scary?

I kid you not, when I went to create my person/avatar thingie for Playstation's HOME experience, I got scared. When you first choose a template figure for your little avatar person, The creepy thing sways and stares at you constantly. It even BLINKS. Yikes! It looks like one of those awful vampires from the horrific Will Smith vehicle, "I Am Legend" but with pigment.


I also had trouble making my person as portly as I am in real life. I may have to diet, simply to match my avatar, or risk having people like Twin (who popped in while I was experimenting with the HOME network) spit, "Yeah, right! You tried to make yourself look like a skinny, hot black man!" I was offended by her accusatory tone, as I'm not one to exaggerate or fluff my appearance, like most men do (height and penis size are common fibs). I took the width to the max, but HOME simply does not allow the appearance of sloth or gluttony.

My close to finished product. Not quite as scary until....

You go in for the wide shot! Look at those creepy, zombie eyes. I don't think I would be able to play this late a night. Anyway, a suitable change of outfit (I look good in green), and I was off.


My first visit was to the movie theatre, and as I've heard, naughty things can happen there! By naughty, I mean seedy and inappropriate carnal interaction, better suited for one’s bedroom than the cinema. They are going to have put a parental protector on this sucker, in order to keep children from being subjected to this filth online, when we all know they should get that at school and tattered and oft-used porno mags, like we did as children.

I will say, that overall, I was entranced with the HOME experience. For one, as long as you have a PS3, it is FREE. Yes, FREE. You get your own virtual apt. to decorate (Yes, eventually you will be able to entertain your virtual friends and have virtual dates). You can watch previews of games AND movies in the theatre (!!!), there is a bowling alley (I was unable to figure out how to bowl, but you can compete with others on-line), and I tried to play an arcade game at the arcade (I played something called Ice-breaker, but I sucked). Those that know me well, already know that I'll, at most, use this HOME only one to two times, before I'm over it. Just like in real life, I find chit-chatting with strangers to be a heavy burden. Unless they are hot. And even then, just like in real life, when a big hot guy in a black tank top (most likely an ugly, horny and pimply teen in Peoria) tried to engage me in conversation, I fled for cover, and signed off soon after.

Good Day

Best of 2008, The Editor in Chief Edition: Best Concert

If you are a fan of rock (as T would say, "indulgent racket") then 2008 was a great year for shows. It was impossible for me to pick a clear "Best of 2008" so I'll touch on the 5 best briefly.

One thing I noticed about all 5 bands is that they all have tracks on Rock Band or Rock Band 2 (which, as you probably already know, I play regularly) with Eddie Vedder's track coming in the form of Pearl Jam's Alive.

Eddie Vedder, April 15th, 2008 - Spreckles Theater, San Diego
Eddie only did 6 of these tour dates so the shows were very unique. He was touring behind his solo album/soundtrack for the movie Into the Wild . The soundtrack is great and I highly recommend it. He added in Pearl Jam songs and some additional covers for this show. Tickets were impossible to get, but good friend and fellow Society member Bad Donkey hooked me up with two tickets. Upon entering the show, these tickets were upgraded to front row center (the first time I've seen anyone from such a vantage) and this show instantly became one of the best for the year, and the year wasn't even halfway over yet.

RUSH, May 6th, 2008 - Nokia Center, Los Angeles
Just a few years ago, I would have commiserated with T in regards to our mutual dislike for Rush. I found the vocals annoying (Geddy Lee sounds like a woman) and songs had a sci-fi cheesy feel to them. Then one day at a Tool show, the guitarist was warming up and playing a few licks from a Rush riff and I started to reconsider. I was able to find a lot to love about the music, and their live show is excellent. The band is still only 3 members, with all 3 of the triggering all sorts of sounds and samples via foot peddles. The songs are long and complex, a staple for any fan of progressive rock.

Radiohead, August 27th, 2008 - Cricket Amphitheatre, San Diego
I had never seen Radiohead live but went through a stretch in college where I thought they were one of the best. Their latest album, In Rainbows, is excellent, and for this show they played some of the very best song from the older parts of their catalog. The highlight here were tracks like The Gloaming check out the link for a great example of the overall vibe at a Radiohead show. I caught this show with Jessica, and fellow blog couple HNB and Nikki, as well as the concert frequenters the Bad Donkeys.

NIN, September 6th, 2008 - The Forum, Los Angeles
Nine Inch Nails tour was the most technologically advanced show I saw of the year. This video shows the screen they used in front of the band to simulate a variety of effects.

Even if you are not a fan of "muscular" rock, there is hope! You can do as T does and focus on Trent Reznor's jaw and biceps and ignore the ear splitting music he produces.

Metallica, December 15th, 2008 - Cox Arena, San Diego
This show was my last of the year and one of the best. They played my favorite Metallica track at this show, Blackened, which many of you may be familiar with due to the fact that it is play on Rock Band frequently at my house. T would call it indulgent, I call it awesome.

The band has renwed energy touring behind their 2008 release Death Magnetic. They pull heavily from that album when creating their setlist, however they of course inclue staple tracks such as Enter Sandman, One, and Master of Puppets. Metallica helped define an entire genre of music in the 1980's and 1990's and are headed straight into the Rock and Roll hall of fame. A must see for anyone who is a fan of hard rock music.

Honorable Mentions: Smashing Pumpkins, Rise Against, Offspring, Chris Cornell

What Could Possibly Spur Such Scenes Of

Triumph


Suspicion


Mirth


Gaiety

Celebration


Gracious defeat

and possible orgasms?

I'll give you the answer....tomorrow.

Best of 2008: Bobble is Best Dressed

When it came time to pick 2008’s Best Dressed Female* I looked through my photos on Picasa and noticed that, out of our five finalists, there were three girls who did their damndest to look their absolute best 24/7; they didn't just apply make-up and wear pumps when going to work or out on the town, but they wore snazzy ensembles when simply sitting around the house, or just going to the grocery store. Those ladies are Twin, Bobble (Maggie), and OGBFF. After eliminating OGBFF for his frightening and oft-seen, knit, grand-mothers cap; I couldn’t decide between our final two contestants (it was a fight to the death; one moment I’d go with Twin after remembering her skin-tight sweater dress and brown cowboy boot ensemble that just worked! The next moment the pendulum swung towards Bobble, when I reflected on her ferocious leopard print bikini and smart, matching clutch!) Exhausted, I turned to the Editor-In-Chief and asked, “Who do you think is the best dressed female of 2008?” He answered, “Wow, Twin and Bobble both dress really nice on a consistent basis, and they both have great assess, but I’d have to say that Bobble really puts a lot of thought into her ensembles, so I’ll give her the edge.”

So there you have it. Congrats Bobble! In lieu of a commemorative tea-cup (we feared you may have trouble lifting it) our Editor in Chief has prepared a tribute collage of some of your 2008 outfits, which you can enjoy when you are not passed out from hunger on the keyboard.

Honorable mentions: Twin, OGBFF, Stavvy, Angela Griswold

*(Best Dressed Male is Mik. Period. Clothes just hang right on him and he has a fun, flirty fashion sense that just works. I won’t be handing him an award because there are no honorable mentions. Almost every other guy I know looks cookie-cutter, bland and dull in comparison, with the exception of 98lb Neil (He has a smart coat and suit that is cut perfectly..BUT he refuses to let go of his “Affliction” shirts and it cost him), D3 (his “ruffled” and “non-matching” look is not deliberate but a result of hard-drinking and he is color-blind so, don’t tease him), Nemo (He’s colorful at times, I’ll give him that, and fools most of you because you think the purple tank tops and Miami Vice sports jacket are “European” but I know better, that's ugly in ANY language), and finally, me (yes, me) who received this comment from Angela Griswold, “You know T, you always dress like you just don’t give a f**k, and I love that about you!”

Good Day.

Best of 2008: Best Skinny-Fat Girl

2008's best skinny fat-girl, Twin, also came in 2nd for hottest sex-pot, and then came thisclose to winning best dressed female. We'll reveal those winners later today, or tomorrow, time permitting.

Before the award is given out, I should probably explain the term, skinny-fat girl.

Back in my home state of Michigan, skinny women are hard to come by, thus they tend to be bitchy and do very little besides “look cute” and act entitled, thus the role of care-taker is taken on solely by plus-sized or “healthy” women, as they have to work a little harder to land, and then keep, a man. Thus, like Pavlov’s dog, I would salivate whenever I saw my “healthy” girl-friends, as I knew I was going to be fed and spoiled. After moving to California back in the 90’s, I was stunned to discover that “healthy” women here are liberated (I blame Oprah), and don’t play that game. I realized this after one too many of the following conversations:

T: I’m hungry (this used to solicit a reaction of, “I got you” from healthy women)
Healthy Girl: Me too, why don’t you go pick us up some Jack-N-The Box? I’ll take a sourdough jack, Oreo shake and a large curly fry.
T: Um. I don’t like fast food.
Healthy Girl: Then why don’t you go make us something to eat?
T: You're just not getting this are you?

Just as I begin to think, “Maybe California isn’t the place for me…” I made a wonderful discovery: The Skinny-Fat Girl. This is a skinny woman that, unlike skinny women in Michigan, still cooks and cleans and takes on the role of care-taker, hostess and provider. A shining example of this is Well-Maintained Shannon, who never stops cooking and cleaning. Bad examples are the skinny, but idle and high-maintenance themselves, Stavvy and Marja. Stavvy used to cook, but now she orders out when she entertains, while Marja is….well….Marja….is…. Marja.


Luckily, we had a trifecta of skinny-fat girls working over-time this year to pick up the slack. To the naked eye, Angela Griswold exists solely to feed and **censored** Mik, and is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet (so much so that,O.J. said, “Doesn’t she realize she’s hot and doesn’t have to work so hard?” Remember, he's from the East and accustomed to skinny women that are bitchy). Then we have Bobble, who doesn’t mess around in the kitchen, keeps an even temper, and told me just yesterday, “There will be plenty of food at my holiday party, so come hungry!” That actually made me tear up a little.


Twin was on the can when reached by the editor and informed of her award. She screeched, "OMIGOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THE BEST SKINNY-FAT GIRL. I'M MAD AT YOU!"

But, this years Best of 2008 commemorative tea-cup for Best Skinny-Fat Girl, goes to Twin, for her enthusiastic hosting of gay-night AND variety in her meals. I realize that she works even harder at being a good skinny-fat girl, because she’s not as naturally sweet as Angela or as laid-back as Bobble, and even has a surrogate daughter to tend to, all the while keeping her boyfriend sexed-up 24/7. That takes ENERGY. Congrats Twin!

Honorable Mention: Angela Griswold, Bobble

The Propriety Report: Holiday Edition

The accused: Seemingly innocent carolers like Brad the Cad (all the way to the left with yet another date, women beware!), Twin and Jesse as a whorish Santa, sing for drunken party-goers.

When I received invite to dinner prepared by Jesse and his visiting mother, I suspected an evening of excellent food and general decency. I'd previously sampled his mother's cooking at his 30th birthday party, and it was seriously ON-POINT(Especially her savory meatballs, which may have actually cost me a date, or at least a much needed bang, after someone I was shamelessly flirting with caught me stuffing my face with one hand and holding onto countless empty toothpicks with the other. He quickly moved on to someone younger and thinner Anyway, after Jesse and his mom knocked out dinner, I prepared to go home and do little more than digest my food, when somehow Twin cajoled me into joining Jesse and his friends in a round of Christmas-caroling, where the classic ditty, 12 Days of Christmas, was disgraced and turned into a heathen’s rant of shocking impropriety. As evidence, I snapped a photo and printed it below..

WARNING: Those that shun bad taste, a lack of decorum and general good behavior, should stop reading here.


The proof: Filth.

The Verdict: All those that participated are guilty of blatant impropriety and uncouth behavior. Names have been taken and will be turned over to the "Propriety Police" and will receive the following for Christmas

A lump of coal. Brad the Cad is getting two. One for this offense and another simply for being such a lothario.

Good Day.

No Blog? Blame Marja!

Marja and a hipster. I told Marja to pose with this hipster (complete with hoodie!), or actually I said, "Now you, you look like a good, proper hipster, get over there and pose with my friend." As you can see, Marja can barely contain her joy. Hipsters are just her thing.

I wanted to blog today as I've got a lot to say. Unfortunately, I can barely keep my eyes open thanks to Marja dragging me (& "who the hell is saying those horrible things about her?" Stavvy) to that dumb Bloc Party concert and keeping me out late.

The evening would have been a great success if we'd left when I wanted (right after a nice dinner at Yard House, before the concert). Although I prepared myself by thinking, "This concert will be pure hell," it still wasn't enough to keep my body from going into shock when the band started blasting that Cure-sounding, college student rock. You couldn't shake a stick without hitting a hipster or a hipster hybrid (surprisingly, there were some alpha male/hipsters in the crowd, that was nice) and Marja looked as happy as a wolf in a hen-house.

Stavvy posed with an unidentified midget inside the House of Blues

She screeched, "To make you understand how happy I am, imagine if someone dropped YOU into a pit of bossy, top, alpha-males!" After that, I understood why she was bopping around, singing every song and dancing like she'd lost her rabbit ass mind, and tried to be "more fun" so I didn't ruin it for her. No, I still wouldn't join the fray and dance with her because I like to keep near the exit door in case a fire breaks out or something goes down, but I did refrain from unplugging the equipment myself when the band threatened a third encore.

This promo person, hipster hybrid is part of the new wave of emo. Right after I took the photo, he gave me a hug goodbye! I hope this world is not too cruel of a place for him. Meanwhile, Stavvy perfects her signature pose, The Marjorie, while Maija shows off her $30 purchase, a Bloc Party sweat-shirt.

Ok, I need to go home and take a nap. I'm done here.

On Point: A Series

The first 1/3 of the movie, Wall-E, was ON POINT!

that was easy....

The Death of On Point

In yet another shining example of how you can get something useful from even the most worthless crap, I realized it was time for me to stop using the pharase, "On Point" after reading The Top 5 Buzzwords from 2008 over on Marja's limp noodle of a blog. No, she didn't list "On Point", let's not get all crazy, but one of her readers mentioned it in the comments section, so I'll give her credit. Now, I'm going to begin a series that will last until the end of the year, where I'll simply let you know what I think is "On Point" (hitting the target, general excellence) to get it out of my system, before returning to the classic, "The Bees Knees".

That's all for now.

Best Of 2008: Biggest Gossip

"Hi Angela, it's Stavvy! I've got scoop! Cluck Cluck Cluck Cluck Cluck Cluck....."

When it came time to select the Biggest Gossip of 2008; I realized that I was ill-equipped to choose the winner as I shun gossip because I think it vulgar. So, I turned to our esteemed Editor in Chief, who is quite the gossip and clearly loves to bathe in its vulgarity, and asked, “Ok, Who is 2008’s biggest gossip? I suspect it’s either you or Stavvy.” He replied, “I know Stavvy and I are the front-runners. Although, I think honorable mention must go to Krazy-Kim, for her legendary blunder of sending a text-message to the very person she was talking sh*t about! She even had to get a sponsor (Outdoorsy-Jarrod) to help curb her lust for rampant gossiping laced with straight sh*t talking! I’d have to give myself a 2nd place spot, although I do not gossip, I simply take a vested interest in the goings-on of my friend’s lives. But there is only ONE Queen of the cluck, and her name is Stavvy. She frequently holds 'Clucking Court' where the ladies tittle-tattle and sling hash as if their very lives depended on it. A relentless jabba-jaw, Stavvy often clucks until her voice is hoarse, and after a failed attempt to re-brand her gossip as “scoop," has taken that a step further now, and simply writes off her gossip as, 'giving a heads up!'"

Case Dismissed. Stavvy is awarded our first commemorative tea-cup and coupon, as she is anointed 2008’s Biggest Gossip!

Congrats Queen Cluck!

Honorable Mention (a.k.a. The Clucking Crew): N.H.F., Krazy-Kim, Angela Griswold

Dark Cloud of Fanboy Boycott of Fox Looms

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

The Wolverine trailer is finally here. Let's hope the Fox vs. Warner Bros debacle, regarding the rights to Watchmen, is cleared up soon so fanboys aren't forced to make good on their threats to pirate this film and spread it all over the Internet.

This looks good. Really good.

Good Day.

Best of 2008 Kicks off Monday!

Please join us Monday as we kick off our Annual, Tea With Lemon Best Of... awards, where I, along with your esteemed Editor in Chief, shall mercilessly skewer select winners from our group of blog regulars in categories such as, "Biggest Dummy" , "Most Improved in Appearance" and "Biggest Troublemaker". We'll be starting things off with a bang, after the weekend, by presenting the award for the hotly contested, "Biggest Gossip!"

This year, each winner will receive a commemorative tea cup (shown above) and a recession sensitive coupon (also above) that they can redeem wherever and whenever they like, without fear of store closing.

Cheap Co-Worker Photo Parade

Don't worry, she's being transferred to another Vons. If not, I would hav cracked open a bottle and given her a little shot of whiskey, for Holiday comfort.


I’m heavily burdened with work today, as is the Editor in Chief, so blogging has been compromised. While we’re both busy swinging from the nuts of The Man, I’ll be running one more Vons store-closing photo-spread. This one of all the employees I caught hunting for values, when they should have been working.

Here's Chuck from Engineering. I always joke that he looks like the Asian Fred Flinstone because his head is almost as big as mine. After I snapped this, he grabbed my camera and took one of me! How Rude! It was busted so it was quickly discarded.

Now, you won’t hear me complaining about my work-load anymore because a recession changes everything. As little as 6 months ago, I was still talking smack about jumping ship and getting the hell out of this low-paying, moron packed company. Poor Perv had to listen many a morning as I ranted about finding something more fulfilling and what job interviews I had lined up. Now, with store closings and lay-offs the normal, rather than the exception, I suddenly have a new attitude. I look forward to coming in everyday, grateful to be employed by this seemingly recession proof company.

Here's Jo. Chemist and data validator. When I walked up and barked, "What are you doing?" She jumped and then let out such a loud laugh everyone turned to look. Poor dear turned beet-red. She made FOUR trips to the store in two days, during work hours. Beating my three visits, but less than Ming's five.

Now, I love not only my stupid co-workers (even the ugly ones, or at least I’m really trying), but everything in this dusty ass office; from the busted plants Ming gave me to the staples in the stapler. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still jump ship in a hot minute, when the right offer (or wealthy mate) comes along, but instead of saying “F**k you! I'll see you in hell!” on my way out of the door, I’ll gush, “How I’ll miss you sweet recession proof company! I was so grateful for my time here and the steady paycheck, however minuscule, so I could put food on the table! Bless the free snacks in the kitchen! Bless the crappy bonuses! Bless you all!”

Here's Chris, a computer programmer and the only person at this god-forsaken place that's actually taller than me. Chris is Mik's favorite employee because he loaned him Metal Gear Solid 4, which Mik has yet to return. Luckily, Chris doesn't complain because he worships me after I gave him a free pass to Comic-con, thus cementing my nerd-cred (One never knows, although I had action figures and Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman poster in my office, I could have been a pseudo -nerd that was actually having lots of sex.)

Have mercy, here she is now, Ethyl, technical writer and all around drama-magnet. If we had an employee contest called, Hot Mess of the Week, Ethyl would have taken 51 weeks out of the past 52 (She was on vacation that one missing week). True story: Perv thought Ethyl was hispanic until she bellowed, "I'm a strong black woman!" (In his defense, at first I thought she was Filipino, as she's of mixed race origins and hard to pin-point, until I got a closer look at her and caught a bit of nappy hair about the back of her head.)

I also have photos of Perv and Ming, snapped with my cell phone when my camera battery died (I'm still bitter). I'll get those up later, or never, it all depends on my mood.

Good bye Vons! You went out like a chump, just like **censored by editor in chief**, but I'll never forget you.

Good Day.