The first of many victims meets her doom. You may be next. This is the new breed of "tool vampire" and he is immune to holy water and crucifix. To keep this vampire from visiting your home; keep your television on and tuned to either Lifetime or the Oxygen network. If you don't have cable, The View, Oprah and Ellen also act as repellent, as do all forms of music that lack dreadful amounts of guitar and contain even a minimal amount of soul.
It also fears chewing gum.
You have been warned.
What would have been an average episode of Top Model (Tyra did or said nothing particularly wacky, thank goodness she is the photographer for next week's fashion shoot!!! Always a smorgasbord of crazy!) was enlightened by the gay-night attendees (Stavvy, Maria, Twin, Bobble and Angela Griswold) sharpening their claws and going after my pick, Samantha. Granted Samantha is not as gorgeous as McKey or that drama-queen, Elina (who is?), but she takes great pictures and I'm hoping she cleans up on the make or break, Cover-Girl commercial, and rightfully restores my bragging rights.
Sheena was sent home, making Bobble very very happy. Bobble was annoyed by Sheena's "ghetto" vibe and was prone to cursing at the television whenever Sheena opened her mouth. Sheena can take some comfort in the fact that she was the last minority standing.
It was my turn to host gay night and, of course, the first words out of my mouth were, "What a burden," followed by, " Whatever shall I do? Maybe I can do a 'Recession' theme night and serve chicken broth and crackers. Better yet, let me call Angela and see if she's working... " I kid you not, before I could even call her, she called me, and said, "Yes, I know it is your turn to host. I'm going to Henry's now, would you like me to pick up some stuff for dinner? How many people are coming?" How I love the woman. This act of kindness relieved a good deal of the burden of my hosting duties, still, I had to open the door for people, yet somehow I managed.
1) Twin suppresses her gag reflex while trying to swallow something sturdier than maple syrup and cayenne pepper.
2) Bobble meticulously rearranges the food on her plate, so it appears she's actually eaten some.
3) Nemo and his hypnotic herpes arrive at Gay Night, simply to eat. Despite looking gay, he isn't, and respectfully left before Top Model started.
sweet Lesbian Emo-Boy, gobbles Angela's cooking.
Terror of the clucking crew!
1) Having consumed my body weight in Vino while clucking non-stop (If Angela ,Twin and Stavvy are conscious, then they are clucking. I used to think Stavvy had a deep voice, but now I realize it is just hoarse due to excessive use), Stavvy finally slumps over, exhausted.
2) Notice how happy and genial Maria looks. This should make you suspicious, as it is far scarier than anything you'll see this Halloween, because she's probably plotting against you.
This is good; Dwight and Angela from The Office.
Entertainment Weekly has a pictorial titled, Halloween Party! 32 Cool Costumes From PopWatchers, where their readers sent in their Halloween Costumes. It is really lame. I didn't see much, but if you are lazy, useless and last-minute, maybe you'll find something of value here.
Played...but still endearing.
American beauty fantasy (sly and deliciously slutty), Amy Winehouse and a big, ugly Little Orphan Annie.
And my favorite of them all, Facebook Page!
In retrospect, I realize my contact lens was dry because all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room by Twin and Angela’s addiction to non-stop clucking. After Top Model, Twin was yammering on about her South American vacation, on one side of the room, at the same time that Angela was babbling on and on about how she and Mik first met, on the other. Disoriented and needing relief for my contacts (as well as my ears and sanity), I made a desperate dash to my night-stand and dumped some contact lens moisturizing drops in my eyes.
Access to variety, or deadly killers?
According to the article here, 6 out of 10 remote controls harbor some sort of cold virus. I'd suggest leaving your television on the same channel or just watching more porn in the privacy of your own bedroom.
Don't be scared little chickens, but according to the article, remote controls are much safer than salt-n-pepper shakers! According to the Scientists at the University of Virginia, long known for its virology research:
"commonly touched areas like refrigerator doors and handles were positive about 40 percent of the time" for cold germs, All three of the salt and pepper shakers they tested were contaminated. Other spots found to harbor the germ: 6 out of 18 doorknobs; 8 of 14 refrigerator handles; 3 of 13 light switches; 6 of 10 remote controls; 8 of 10 bathroom faucets; 4 of 7 phones and 3 of 4 dishwasher handles."
Wow. Who knew that Salt-N-Pepper shakers were so deadly? Well, there's no need to fret, all of this will be moot anyway, once the revolution comes.....
Franken-girl, shortly before I dressed the wound and covered it with a flesh-colored band-aid. I got a sick kick out of it, and that worries me.
Seemingly unaware that we are in a recession, insatiable cock-aficionado and cancer-survivor, the Mysterious Maija (a.k.a. Maria), booked a suite at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego and requested I stay with her. I almost wish I'd stayed home because now I know what I'm missing and I want to live in that damn hotel. The suite had two HD flat screens, maids, fresh towels, refreshed linens, and security. It also had a VERY sexy shower (although I would come to regret it, after I was violated by Maria's camera phone). Anyway, it was a great weekend (I was so happy Maria could no longer play the, "I have cancer" card), marred only by a skirmish known as "The Great Griswold Skirmish of 2008" and "The Heathen and the Heath Bar Incident". So now, without further ado and minimal commentary, here’s the Franken-Girl Birthday Photo Parade.
98 and N.H.F. (behind) horse around in shower.
Later that night, (The evening of the "Great Griswold Skirmish of 2008" and "The Heathen and the Heath Bar Incident"), Stavvy, The Griswolds, Nemo, etc. rolled over for an impromptu, hotel room party.
BONUS BLOGGING: Maria's Birthday Dinner
Due to circumstances beyond my control. I missed Maria's birthday dinner on Friday night (And was verbally eviscerated by Hot-Nerd Brian for doing so. Publicly on Friday and then again privately, via I.M., on Monday). Since I wasn't there, I can only run these photos and say....I don't like the color grey on Maria.
I got the game home and quickly set it up. I purchased the deluxe edition with wireless guitar, wireless drums, microphone, and game. The drums are awesome. They now 6 total inputs as compared to Rock Band's 5, two of which are cymbals. The bass drum pedal is still a piece of raggity ass plastic, but seems slightly more sturdy than the Rock Band one, however J-Money is still banned from playing it. The drum pads are much quieter than the Rock Band kit, but the stand seems a little less sturdy. The guitar is 100% on point. It has the same buttons and spacing as the Guitar Hero III Les Paul, but an improved strum bar, longer neck, bigger body, and touch sensitive pads for bending sustained notes or for soloing.
The game play is very smooth with better graphics than their competitor's . You get a larger "window" to play notes which makes solos and faster parts a little easier. You can also create your own songs in a virtual studio.
The track listing is the reason I bought the game. They have three Tool songs complete with their own artwork to go along with the game play. You also get songs from bands like KoRn, the Doors, and The Eagles which Rock Band have been unsuccessful in securing. The one downside is that 30 or so of the 84 songs on the disc are also included in Rock Band 1 or 2 (or downloadable).
I will not give up on Rock Band, they have a far more extensive sound track with all of their downloadable content, however if you had to choose one platform or another I'd say Guitar Hero World Tour has the edge.
Smooth game play
Fun new songs
Some tracks redundant to Rock Band
Bass Drum pedal weak
Twin told me this is one of her favorite brides-maid dresses ever. It's cute. Maybe she'll become a fixture on the summer cotillion circuit, so she'll have the opportunity to wear it again.
The diverse Benetton bridesmaids in expensive dresses they will never wear again.
Now let's move on....